My thoughts shared with you

Last month I decided to do something I had never done before. I decided to go on the stock market and she how it worked.

In a way it was by coincidence that I entered but continuing was of course my choice.

I got a call every morning from a coach and he wanted me to deposit more money so I would be able to earn more!

I was not ready to risk a lot and I knew it was 50 per cent possibility I would loose at least some money, so I told my coach, no more money into my account.

Everything went well the first 2 weeks but suddenly there was a collapse in the markets and the future was not bright.

To make a long story short I did loose all my profit and half of my deposit. I decided to close my account and claim the money I had left.

When depositing everything had went smoothly, the money in my account for use in just minutes but claiming something back was a completely different story.

All kinds of hurdles suddenly appeared.

It did not come as a surprise; I had read some testimony about this but truly I didn’t believe it could be a problem because paying into the account was so smooth.

Several new documents were required to prove that I was really I and not some robot or whatever!

After several attempts to satisfy the document machine, they finally accepted my identity.

Then I had to proof my deposits by papers from my bank!

At this stage I was getting angry and wrote a rather unpleasant letter to the document department and they advised me to live talk on the internet! I did not accept that and continued to send them replies to their polite e-mails where they blamed everything on regulations and computers.

Finally, the green light about paying me back what I was claiming came, but I was told it would take about 10 days to get to me.

I got furious.

10 days, on what planet did they live? I asked.

Another looooong e-mail with the explanation that everything should be checked and blab la blab la.

I explained that I transferred money between continents in few minutes.

I told them that when I was young, a long time ago, and the computers came first, everything was blamed on the computers. I told them that computers only did what people told them!

Another e-mail came from them, very polite, apologising for the inconvenience. I did not reply to that one and decided they were just poor people trying to follow the rules given to them abut how to talk to the customers.

Guess what; the next day I got a note from my bank, I had got the money from the invest company into my account.

10 days became just one.

I knew from the beginning of my investment adventure that it was high risk and I would most likely loose my money. That was a risk I took with open eyes and that was why I did not risk a lot of money.

What made me furious was the process when I clamed my money, what I had not lost, back.

I will never step into this business again and it was a great experience.

It took a lot of time to follow the market and my time is not unlimited. I also found it very boring to sit and look at some numbers and graph. I find it more exciting to read or write or simply just be doing nothing!

I see how the markets swing up and down, I see it on the news and that is enough for me.

When the company was trying to get me to invest, I told them I would not want to spend time in front of my computer or phone looking at the market and they told me they would have someone take care of everything for me. I believed them but the reality was different.

It was interesting while it lasted but never again.

At least I get some interest rates at my bank when I keep my money there!

What a life for those like the one who called me every day. All their lives, from morning until late night is about the markets going up and down and angry customers who did not realize they were taking high risks with just being a tiny part of the game.

Life is just an experience every minute. Some minutes are interesting and prosperous, others are boring and not worth the effort.

Live your life alive is my motto and that is what the investment adventure was.

See you again.

Hulda Björnsdottir.

1 st. of August 2021

Good morning.

A beautiful morning here in my little land and my village is shining. It is partly cloudy but not too cold. We might have up to 23 in the afternoon and the summer is still on holiday I have no idea what has got into it but being on holiday during July should be enough, although I am not too disappointed about not having to flee inside from the terrible summer heat!

Waking up and deciding to make this a happy wonderful day feels perfect. Gratitude and looking forward to the day is my goal.

It is all about the mindset.

I can dwell on what is not perfect and completely how I would like it, or I can dwell on what I have and what I am looking forward to in my future.

The moment is mine.

The thought is mine.

The choice is mine.

Thinking with love and hope and being grateful are a perfect combination for a happy day.

I am organising the next months and that is not boring. I love organising and I am excited about the outcome.

There are million of questions that appear while I am figuring out how to take care of what I need to take care of. Asking is not difficult, it is just to know the right people to ask and everything runs smoothly.

I am lucky to have the best lawyer in the land and she is one I can trust completely and as well as being my lawyer she is a good friend. She and her company have taken care of me since I came to Portugal and made my life much easier than if I was trying to do everything myself. In a country where you don´t know the system well, and the system is complicated, a good lawyer is a must, and I have got one.

I am reading, or rather listening to a book which talks about how the mindset is the number one when you are changing anything. You need to reboot your brain disk, like I did when I took the 7 days of the social media. I feel those 7 days are the best I have had in a long time. I got a space to think about what I really want; I got a space from all the rubbish going on in the narrow world of some of the Facebook comments and news feeds.

I am a highly sensitive person and I need to protect myself to be able to survive.  

Being in the midst of the social conversation where people are more negative than in real live is not a healthy place for someone like me.

We need a world that is full of positive and beautiful comments and conversations.

I hope your month will be full of happiness and joy, my reader, I send you hugs wherever you are in the world and I will continue to write here. It is for me and if someone else can use what I am thinking to make their lives a bit better it would be great, but if not that is also ok.

See you tomorrow

Hulda Bjornsdottir

• 

31 st of July 2021

It’s the last day of July and I have no idea where the summer in my little land went.

It has been cold most of July or just like springtime, nothing like a summer. Is the summer still on holiday? I wonder!

So, yesterday I decided to write few words on Facebook to say that I am alive and everything is well but that I have decided to leave Facebook, but I said I would reply to messages.

I got 3 comments.

The truth is I don´t miss the book at all.

I am just so happy and relieved to have made this decision and my life is like a new one.

You think you have got friends and then it turns out that most of them really don´t care about you if you are not a celebrity or famous!

Today I went to Coimbra. I wanted to see something interesting, a display of pictures from Coimbra, but unfortunately there was nothing, it had been there last weekend! Instead, they had put up a dinosaur’s garden for the children!

This was ok, At least I got out and on my way home to the supermarket to get some things.

I really don´t like to go shopping. I try to go once a month and now I have got a 10 euros discount per month to use and my August discount is not valid until tomorrow.

The evening here in my little village is beautiful today, the sun is shining but I can tell you it is cold.

When I came home from Coimbra the fire department was creaming. I don´t know what was happening but it looked like fire somewhere.

It is evening now and I have had a wonderful day. Nothing special, just normal wonderful day full of love and happiness. That is how days should be.

I am thinking about reaching out to some of my friends here in Portugal that I have not seen or spoken to for some time. It is up to me to keep the connection if I want it and it’s my decision how to do it.

I seriously look forward to go to the gym again and after august I should be able to do that. I could go there just for a walk but so far, I have not done it. I am waiting to recover a bit more and for the time being just walk around my little village.

I am preparing for a huge change in my life perhaps in December and even before Christmas. There is a lot to take care of and paperwork is complicated! Documents that are from Iceland written in English need to be translated into Portuguese. Sometimes I just wonder why everything is made so complicated. It would be so much easier if everything was simple and life just gliding ahead!

I am going to remember to write something here every day and perhaps it would be good to do it in the morning when I am fresh and the thoughts are streaming!

I am extremely happy for so much that has happened today. I am grateful for my life. I should be grateful and happy and I truly am.

Life is just amazing when we open our eyes and look closely.

Opportunities are everywhere if we are open for them when they rise in front of us.

I am a lucky one.

I wish you my reader a good night’s sleep and hope your day tomorrow will be exceptional. It is a new beginning, a new month and a new future every moment.

Hulda Björnsdóttir

• 

• 

30. July 2021

The first day after 7 days away from the social media is here.

A bit confusing and I am trying to figure out the next step.

Will I continue to be on Facebook or will I just leave it?

Should I apologize to my friends on Facebook for disappearing for 7 days without any explanation?

Seriously, I am not sure what I will do but the day is different from yesterday. I have looked at the news feed and I have seen that it just took my “friends” 2 days to “leave” my site!

I did get 3 messages which I have already replied to and explained what was going on.

The reply from one was full of love and support.

The reply from another one was “its good you are alive”

And the third one was rather blunt, neither friendly or unfriendly.

The truth is that the outcome did not surprise me.

I have been writing something every morning on Facebook, saying good morning and putting some pictures of my mornings. Some people have sent me a greeting and some have put likes with some of the photos. That has been my Facebook experience. I have made some comments here and there on matters that I thought important. I have ignored the ugly discussion and the smearing.

While writing this I am seriously thinking about what to do in the future about the social media and my first thought is to leave it alone and not bother to look at the news feed.

I have not made a decision.

I will let my new reality sink in.

There are some people I will miss but they are not that many.

My true friends are not those on Facebook, my true friends are in real live. They are the ones I see and we want desperately to hug each other. Many of them are not even on the social media and have no idea what is going on there.

Blogging is nice.

I can put my thoughts down here and just let go of them.

Am I disappointed?

No, I am not.

My life goes on and soon I will be in a totally different situation, which I look dearly forward to.

I hope you my reader have a wonderful day full of happiness and love.

Hulda Björnsdóttir

29th of July 2021

Yess, it is the last day of my social media sobriety and I am really proud of myself.

I have stood the challenge and not a problem.

This morning I woke up and thought about how wonderful my life is.

It is just plain peaceful and no stress looking at the news or anything. The weather is beautiful in my little land, pleasantly warm and the sun is shining.

It felt really good to be free from the addiction and just going into the day with a clear mind and excitement.

I will probably write tomorrow about how it was to go back and what I did.

My plan is to see if anyone has been worried, because I did not tell anyone about my decision.

If there are some people wondering or writing to me and asking, I will send them a message and reply but nothing public on my Facebook.

I am not going back to what was before.

Now I am moving forward.

Today is going to be a busy day, me vegetables come soon and, in the afternoon, I have a meeting.

Singing, writing this, writing my diary, making the broth, which is already cooking is the plan so far and of course more intensive studying of Portuguese.

The mornings are great, the washing machine has taken care of the laundry and the sun is taking care of drying so I just have to wait.

This is a wonderful day.

This is my day and tomorrow another one begins, completely different, but perhaps not so much.

It will be something to be able to talk to my loved one on WhatsApp. Phones are fine but the video is different.

I just hope you, my reader, will have a wonderful day and stay safe.

I send hugs and kisses just into the universe.

Hulda Bjornsdottir

28th of July 2021

Day 6 is here

Good morning to a beautiful morning here in my little land. It is sunny and warm already and will go up to 27 later today. We are in a strange period of time. The summer is still on holiday and it came for few days but decided to leave and perhaps come back in august.

Anyway

This is day 6 of my social media sobriety and it feels absolutely perfect and relaxing this morning. Not even a temptation to pick up my phone!

I have been thinking about what I will do after tomorrow.

Will I go back to where I was before and say good morning on Facebook and share pictures from my balcony and contemplate about some thought I am going to keep with me that day or will I retreat and stop posting on Facebook?

I seriously don´t know.

What I know is that there might be some, few of my friends there that are wondering what happened and where is she?

I have a choice.

I can send my concerned friends a message where I explain why I disappeared.

I can write something on my Facebook and explain.

And I can just disappear!

I am going to send a message to those who have asked, if any, about me and tell them why and what I did.

I have not decided what I do in general.

One thing is though for sure, I am not going back as before. I am not going to read the news feed about all the horrible things going on.

I watch the news in my TV and that is enough for me. I know what is going on in my little land and I know what is going on in the world in general.

I have got one more day to think about the future on the social media and I am not going to make a decision today but the future will be different, that is for sure.

Yesterday I found my little iPod which I have not used since 2018 when I was in the hospital for 10 days. There are several books on it and some music. I was listening to a book yesterday and it felt so normal. I do read a lot but listening is also perfect when I am doing something as well, multitasking woman!

Perhaps the most important eye opener during these 5 days is how much time social media takes away from other exciting things we can do. Being busy feels good and there is nothing disturbing.

I am not telling you, my reader, to do what I did. I am just telling you about my experience and how I feel. I am happy to have done this and my only concern is the closest friends who are worried, or might be worried about not seeing anything from me or hearing from me.

I am grateful for my life every day and I think about it every morning.

It is nothing to be taken for granted to be happy and wake up in the morning ready for the adventures of the day.

We are in Covid times and they are different but we adjust.

I have a plan for the future and I am concentrating.

Life is just so amazingly wonderful.

Hulda Bjornsdottir  

27th of July 2021

Good morning

This is the 5^th day of my social media sobriety and I am quite happy.

This is the first morning that I don´t reach for my phone to check on the media and it felt really good.

I have been busy the whole morning and already now at 10:40 there is soup cooking in a big pot that will last me for 7 days.

Can you imagine, there are just 2 days left of the sobriety and I am totally fine. My computer disk, in my brain, is almost restored and the rest will be piece of cake.

I have to go to Facebook and explain my absence of course, i.e., if anyone has missed me there.

On Friday morning I will call my dearest and that is the only thing I have missed, not being able to use WhatsApp and talk to someone I talk to every day and often per day.

I saw on the news this morning that my little land is perhaps going to ease the restrictions in the evenings so the restaurants can be open a bit longer during August which is the main tourist month here in Portugal. The financial situation is bad and something needs to be done and I understand the governments problem but I dearly hope we will not get another period like the one where everything was closed more or less.

During these 5 days of no social media, I have changed my habits a lot and I am happy about the outcome. Habits are easy to grow but they can also be easy to kill!

I have been in a box and now I am stepping out of the box into the real world. Isn’t that something?

Why am I telling you about this?

Well, I might have made someone to think a little bit about how their days go and what is most important in their lives. I have broken a habit that I did not want to have attached to my soul and it has made me free.

I am changing my habits after Friday and not going back to what was. The future is different and more exciting than following the conversation about things that I am not interested in, just because my “friends” are carrying on the conversation!

Life is just wonderful and I am extremely happy.

Living my life alive is what my dear friend to many years told me some months ago.

I have thought a lot about his words and they are guidelines for me in those Covid times that are hampering me in some ways and making it impossible for the moment to be with people I really care about and want to be with.

We will never go back to normal as it was before, said a friend of mine, few days ago.

I agree, it will be different but it will be good.

We hopefully have learned how important closeness is to us and how we can make the most of the moment we have.

I have learned my lesson about social media and I had a wakeup call and followed my instinct.

My sobriety is almost done, just 2 days left, but the sobriety can not leave me. My new path is there just like the one addicted to vine or drugs claims his sobriety I claimed mine, but it took me not weeks or months, it only took a will of my mind!

I wish you, my reader, a wonderful day and a happy future wherever you are.

Hulda Bjornsdottir

26th July 2021

Day 4 of my social media sobriety is there.

Time flies and Friday will be here before I know it.

3 days gone and 4 days including this one left.

Yesterday I felt a bit lost when the afternoon came.

This morning I woke up a bit anxious and wanted to see what was happening in the social media world. I was strong and the temptation did not win. I took my phone in my hand and to be on the safe side and not open anything I looked at the weather forecast here in my little village. It is going to be 27 and cloudy today, which is cold at this time of the year.

Habits are strong and mine are stronger than word can describe.

I feel like I am in a way refreshing my computer brain by this decision.

I have been looking seriously into many things in my life now and the future.

What will the future hold?

Will I go back to be a Facebook fan or will I change my habits completely?

It is a pause, a welcome one, not to see anything about the situation in Iceland but I miss not seeing the pictures from my little land taken where my friends are spending the weekend and recharging the batteries for the coming week.

It is Monday now. Everyone that has work and is working away from home is now on their way to their workplace and Covid normal is kicking in.

I am not going to work today or any other day since I am retired but there are things to do.

My life is busy and I am enjoying it and during these last days I have been contemplating and seen how lucky I am. I am perhaps one of the lucky ones in a time that makes people worried and depressed.

I was thinking about the generation that does not use the internet or the social media. They are in the same situation as I have been these last days, I have been there by choice but they are there because they don’t have a choice.

Today my idea is not to go back to using Facebook much. I want to have the freedom I have now, today, and enjoy the real life. Will I be able to do that? I don´t know. I may realise what to do when I open my social media again and see who if any has noticed my absence.

I only told one person what I was going to do.

Everyone else knows nothing what is going on.

The person I told I would be away for a week is perhaps curious where I am and what I am doing.

In fact, I am just home doing what I always do apart from looking at the social media.

Resetting my computer brain is wonderful.

I have been in doubt what to make of my future and now I am convinced I am doing what I really want to do.

Courage and optimism are the feelings.

I am going to say it once more that I feel free these 3 days, I feel happy and looking forward to every moment in between when I fall back and think this is not a good way to run my life.

The negativity and doubt are just the hangover.

Now I have today and 3 more days to experience the freedom.

I have no plan what to do from next Friday except I will call my friend on WhatsApp and tell him why and what is the outcome of this strange behaviour.  He will be happy and I will be even happier.

Why am I writing this here?

I want people to know what can happen if you pause and take a good look at the road you are heading, that is why I am sharing my experience.

I have used Facebook to say good morning to my friends there and showed them pictures from my morning and perhaps told them what my goal is for the day. I am not sure I will continue doing this.

The unknown is wonderful.

The unknown is the adventure.

The crossroads are the future.

Which way we choose is always a learning process.

I hope your Monday will be prosperous and happy.

Hulda Bjornsdottir

25^th of July 2021

Good morning once again.

This is day 3 in my experiment of not going on Facebook or WhatsApp.

So far so good.

Yesterday was different from the first day. More relaxed in some ways but also more tense in other aspects. There is one person I really miss and would like to talk to but I am sticking to my plan. Next Friday will be normal again with all the internet everything.

I am probably old fashioned. I figure out that I don´t like those text messages too much. I like more to be able to hear the voice and get the feeling of the person on the other side of the connection, the phone!

Talking to a friend for example in destress on the phone is much stronger than just sending text messages. Hearing the person cry is more powerful than reading about it.

Comforting and caring in messages is not real. The voice and the love that comes through the sound of the voice is what is needed.

This is one thing we lose when we are addicted to text messages as many are.

I went yesterday to the flower shop and talked to my friends there. It felt good and to see the smile in their eyes and hear the warm voices was something. That was indeed what made me think deeper about the text messages and why I don´t like them that much.

In person is what I prefer.

I’m using a program on the internet for my Portuguese study these days and I am using it intensively. There is a possibility to ask the one that owns the program questions and she will reply but that is not live. I would like to be able to see her at least on the screen and talk to her live and ask the million questions that come up when I am studying. No, it is just text messages but she does reply and guide me if I ask, but it is different from sitting in front of her.

I have friends in New Zealand which I sometimes talk to on skype. They lead me through their garden some time ago and showed me how beautiful it is. This came to my mind while thinking about the text messages!

Before the internet everything was different. I would not go back to how it was then but I would like it to be a bit different from what it is now.

Another thing is about how we use the language while texting. There are shortcuts and more shortcuts. What does it do to our language, whichever langue we use?

Is that perhaps the reason so many complain about the lack of language knowledge, even those who talk on the radio or the journalists, are losing the feeling for beautiful text and with that a part of the culture is lost as well. In every language you can find the culture and all its beauty. That is something I find so wonderful when I am learning a new language.

My sobriety is going well and making me reconsider my life in many ways, or at least my habits!

Well, today is the 3^rd day and so far I am happy with the result.

This morning though I fell into a trap. I wanted to see if my florist was open and goggled the opening hours.

Guess what! The information was on Facebook. I was quick to close! Not going to break my promise of a week not going to the social media!

I do miss some people more than others but all in all it is just 7 days and then I will be back.

Will this change my habits? Yes, I think so. In what way I am not sure yet but I am convinced that this has been a wakeup call for me and, in the future, I will connect with my friends in a different way.

This is it for today and I hope you my reader will have a wonderful Sunday and stay safe.

Hulda Bjornsdottir

24 th of July 2021

Good morning again.

The sun is shining in my little land and today it might be about 24 degrees which is absolutely perfect for me.

I am struggling with the fungus on my orchids and really hope they will survive. Talking to the flowers has nothing to do with me taking a break from the social media. It’s just what I do and it felt good to say good morning to them in the beautiful sunny morning. Everything seems to be in good shape and talking to my flowers makes me a bit more human!

So,

How do I feel now, or rather how did I feel yesterday and what was the difference of not looking at Facebook or anything?

I think this was a very good decision to make and I slept like an angel during the night.

Yesterday was busy, but I had to be careful when I touched my phone, not to open Facebook or look at the app, not because I wanted to know what was going on, but it was the reflex and the habit to look at what was going on.

I have no desire to open Facebook this morning.

Another habit connected to the social media is that I took pictures of the morning from my balcony and wrote a good morning thought on Facebook.

Yesterday no pictures and this morning no pictures either and no morning thought.

I admit that I am wondering if anyone notices that I have not been on the app during yesterday.

I also admit that it will be interesting to see how many of my “friends” will still be active talking to me when this sobriety is over. Will the same ones be there or not?

I only told one person that I would not be there for one week!

But all in all, it is a relive and wonderful feeling just to be normal as before the active social media. I miss the e-mails and the phone calls. I miss the coffeehouse meetings where people sat down and laughed together and talked about all and nothing just enjoying the company and the closeness.

On the other hand, I am slowly realizing how much I have relied on i.e., Facebook. I wanted to talk to a friend here in Portugal and was going to call her, I needed some information, and I realised I don´t have her phone number because we always use Facebook when we talk on the phone!

There are more of my friends in the same category so soon I will get their phone numbers but not until the end of this week. There is no way I am going to break my sobriety.

Another plus with this situation is that no more charging my phone every day! The battery will last many days now, perhaps no charging until the end of the week!

So, this is about all for now. I am doing fine, feeling free in a way, not seeing the horror of the fake promises from Iceland before the election in September and not the nasty conversation about people who have perhaps put the wrong foot in front but nothing has been proved although the nasty conversation is blooming.

It is just day 2 of my sobriety but sleeping like an angel and waking up fresh and happy is wonderful.

I wish you, my reader, a wonderful Saturday wherever you are in the world and perhaps you will read my thoughts again tomorrow. There will be a morning report until Friday and on Saturday I will tell you how it feels to be back to the old habit! That will be interesting.

Hulda Bjornsdottir