Author: hulda98

23rd of July 2021

Good morning

I have decided this morning to take a break from Facebook and WhatsApp during one week, starting this morning and ending the morning at the 30^th of July.

I want to see how it affects me to be away.

I want to see how much the social media is affecting my daily life.

I have some idea because now it is 10:52 in the morning and I have been tempted without realizing it, to open Facebook and see what is happening! It is kind of a reflex but so far, I have been ok and left my phone alone.

It will be strange not to talk to people I am used to talk to every day on WhatsApp but I did send a message this morning where I told the person most important that I would be away from the social media for one week.  I thought if I just left this person might think something had happened to me, which has not, I am just experimenting.

I have a routine in the morning, I take pictures from my balcony, I say good morning and I write about the weather and my goal for the day.

This morning no pictures but there are goals.

The most important one is to be happy today. To make the most of the day and be grateful for my blessings, which are many.

I have been doing some investigation about the application for becoming a Portuguese citizen and I found out that the test in the language is in October, September, June and March.

My goal is to take it in October this year. It is not too expensive, 72 Eur. I have not figured out where the tests are taken here in Portugal but I now how long it is, 2 hours, and how long to wait for the results, 2 weeks more or less.

After the test, and passing it of course, the process of the application can begin and soon I will be a citizen in my little land. At the moment I am just a resident and have been for the last 10 and a half years.

Before the end of this year, I will be a true Portuguese.

The second part of my morning has been to look at my broken orchids which got a horrible fungus and now I am trying to kill it with poison I bought yesterday. I hope I will succeed but if not, then the only way is to throw some of them away and that would be really bad so I am keeping my fingers crossed.

The summer is strange in my little land, hot days and cold days and we never know how the next one will be. The first serious fire has been there and the arsenic found. That does not mean we are on the safe side, far from it. Sometimes we have fires in October but after that we are on the safe side.

Anyway, for the next seven days I will be writing here about how my social media sobriety is affecting my daily life. So far, this morning I am feeling strange, a bit confused, on edge not to open anything and just stay calm, but it feels good.

See you tomorrow and have a nice day wherever you are in the world.

Hulda Bjornsdottir

22.júlí 2021

Góðan daginn

Ég ætla ekkert að skammast hér en ég get þó ekki orða bundist.

Ég las í „Lifðu núna“ spjall við konu sem lýsir því hvað það er dásamlegt að verða gamall á Íslandi og hvað hún og hennar líf hafi orðið unaðslegt þegar hún fór á eftirlaun.

Það er frábært að margir hafa það dásamlegt á eftirlaunaaldri. Fólkið getur sinnt áhugamálum sínum, það hefur efni á því, það getur farið í ferðalög, skrifað bækur, farið í frí og notið lífsins vítt og breitt. Þetta fólk er margt með frábæra heilsu og hefur getað sinnt heilsunni vel í gegnum ævina, sem er auðvitað grunnur þess að vera hraustur á efri árum, þ.e. að hafa haft sæmileg tök á því að til dæmis að borða hollan mat, fara í hreyfingu með markmiðum, hafa öruggt húsaskjól og ýmislegt fleira gæti ég talið upp og er auðvitað ekkert að fetta fingur út í hin dásamlegu eftirlaunaár þessa hóps.

Ég spurði hvenær yrði skrifuð svona grein um fátækt á eftirlaunaárunum, því margar greinar hafa verið birtar í Lifðu núna, um ágæti eftirlaunaaldursins, og ég hef ekki séð svona langar fallegar greinar skrifaðar í ritið um þá sem eru fátækir á eftirlaunaaldrinum og lepja dauðann úr skel.

Það þarf að hafa hátt um þá sem lepja dauðann úr skel.

Það þarf að segja frá því hvernig fólki líður sem á ekki fyrir mat á diskinn sinn síðustu viku mánaðarins alla mánuði ársins.

Það þarf að segja frá því hvernig fólki líður sem er ekki með öruggt húsaskjól á eftirlaunaárunum.

Það þarf að segja frá því hvernig fólki sem á ekki fyrir næstu máltíð líður núna þegar allir eiga að geta farið í sumarfrí og ferðast ef fólk langar til.  Þetta fólk getur ekki farið neitt, það á ekki fyrir mat hvað þá ferðalögum.

Það þarf að segja frá því hvernig fólki líður sem ekki hefur efni á að nota part af naumt skömmtuðum eftirlaunum til þess að hugsa vel um heilsuna með hollri hreyfingu og góðu matarræði.

Það er sumar, það er faraldur í gangi í heiminum sem skerðir getu fólks til þess að vera innan um aðra. Það eru ýmsar skoðanir á því hvernig eigi að höndla þennan faraldur en ég er nokkuð viss um að líðan þeirra sem lepja dauðann úr skel er ólíkt verri en þeirra sem njóta eftirlaunanáranna vegna viðunandi fjárhags.

Ég ætla ekkert að minnast á þá sem hafa flúið land þegar eftirlaunaárin skriðu í höfn.

Ég vona bara að einhvern tímann verði skrifaðar margar fallegar greinar um raunverulegt líf þeirra sem lepja dauðann úr skel þegar eftirlaunaárin taka við.

Ég vona líka að einhvern tímann verði skrifaðar fallegar greinargóðar lýsingar á hinum „frábæru“ dögum öryrkjanna sem verða 67 ára og komast af örorkubótum yfir á eftirlaun! Það eitt er rannsóknarefni vel þess virði að skoða en auðvitað ekki eins sætt og greinin sem var upphaf þessara hugleiðinga minna.

Ég öfunda ekki þá sem hafa það gott á eftirlaunaárum. Þeir eiga það ábyggilega flestir skilið og hafa skilað öllu sínu til þjóðfélagsins í gegnum starfsævina!

Ég er hins vegar áhyggjufull vegna hinna, og get ekki annað en látið þá skoðun mína í ljós.

Hulda Björnsdóttir

19th of July 2021

Good morning

A cloudy day here in my little village and my little land is on high alert in many places today.

The weekend was difficult for the south and the fires roared there.

This is Portuguese summer at its best.

The heat and the sunshine are beautiful and many long for it the colder months but the truth is that the summer is not a good time for my little land when we look at the woods and the traffic on the roads.

Something happens when it gets warmer and the drivers become obsessed with madness that I have never understood, but it is there. The tourists drive like they are the only ones in the world, at least some of them, and my fellow countrymen get the summer traffic fever, as well.

This weekend several hectares burned and some houses and cars were destroyed. I turned on the TV this morning with heavy heart and seeing the destruction broke my heart. This is just the beginning. Hundreds of firefighters fought yesterday and Saturday to keep the people safe.

There were pictures of people trying to save the horses. There were pictures of burned cars and destroyed trees. The cork lost a lot of theirs.

On a morning like this it is good to take a walk before the normal life starts. I have been going out in my little village at 7 o’clock resent mornings and it feels good. I use the morning walk to meditate. There is a lot to be grateful for.

Gratitude is a wonderful feeling which helps healing some souls that are suffering.

I am not a suffering soul. I am just an ordinary woman living my life every day one day at a time making the most of every moment.

This morning, when I arrived home the couple that lost their son recently were just leaving.

I feel their sadness and sorrow. Its like a thick vail around them. It is so sad and there is nothing I can do to ease their pain. They will survive but it will take time and in a situation like theirs time seems to go in slow motion.

When we lose someone in the prime of their lives and we don´t understand why, there is the possibility to fall into self-blame. Asking questions like: Why did I not see it coming? What did I do wrong? Could I have prevented this to happen? All those and many more are the questions the parents might ask them selves and there are no answers, just the empty space and the broken heart.

The family I am feeling for is not in a gratitude mode, I am almost sure of that.

Is there anything for them to be grateful for?

There might be, and perhaps they do feel some gratitude. They still have got one wonderful son alive. He is suffering the grief with his parents and it is beautiful to see him with his mother. The love is there. The caring is there. The support is there. Does he have the strength needed, is the question?

I hope the family will recover and be able to go back to normal life. 

I pass the cemetery on my morning walks and I think about all the people who have lost a loved one during this pandemic. The toll is higher than normally because of Covid, but there are deaths not connected to the pandemic. This morning there was a paper who said a 96-year-old man would be berried today in my village.

My thoughts this morning were gratitude and love.

I am grateful for the love I feel and the support that is everywhere.

I am grateful for the moment and I am grateful for the fresh breeze after the days before which I found difficult because of the heat.

I am grateful for the beauty around me and I am not taking it for granted.

I am grateful for being able to take care of everything that is my duty and I am grateful to be able to help some that need help.

I am most of all grateful for the person who has taught me how to be myself at my best and enjoy every moment of my life.

This is just a thought for today I am sharing with you, my reader.

I don´t know you and you don´t know me but we are all in the same boat. We are here to make the world better, all in our own capacity.

Hulda Björnsdóttir

• 

• 

18 th of July 2021

Good morning everyone.

Today is a Sunday and the heat is not unbearable as the last few days.

The sun woke up late and is struggling to stay awake. What a relief it is!

I have changed my habits and now I get up very early in the morning, brush my teeth and put on some clothes and my morning walk is on.

It takes me about 30 minutes now to walk the same one and that’s quite good. I am recovering well and will be perfect in September.

Its 29 degrees now in my little village but still fresh.

The depression feeling is gone.

I did talk to my loved one and I cried a bit and that was my healing.

Now I feel just happy and waiting for the next moment with joy and happiness.

Nothing has changed in my world, its still Covid and its still summer.

My opinion is that ups and downs are normal. The ups are better and we want them to be there all the time and perhaps we learn more about our selves when the downs are stronger.

I learned that I have people in my life that support me and love me when I need them if I just tell them how much I need them.

Life is a lesson and I love learning.

I’m going to say this once more: Covid is both good and bad. The pandemic as such is a horrible time but on the other hand it has taught us so much. It has made us realize the importance of communications, and the lack of it.

It might have been a wakeup call for some of us.

It has taught me that it is ok to feel lonely and loneliness is a very strange and new feeling for me.

Normally I have been content and happy with my life just as it is each time of the road but now I have experienced the pain of feeling lonely and that has made me more understanding to those who suffer from this feeling.

When looking back to yesterday I am simply grateful and happy. When looking for the next moment I feel excited, happy and content.

The only time I have any control over is this moment, the moment while I am writing my thoughts and my feelings and being absolutely open and honest. What more is there to wish for?

The year will be over before I know it.

I know next year will be different.

I don´t know how the different will look but I know it is there and I am excited.

I am entering a new life. I am entering a new future. I am enjoying the unknown and I am thanking for the now.

Love and gratitude walk hand in hand. They are the best feelings to have and they are the feelings I am watering and caring for every day just like a beautiful flower.

Outside my balcony the trees are swaying back and forth like a dancing couple. The wind is the music and now its slow and romantic.

I dearly love my little land and all its beauty.

I dearly love my friends in my little land that have been there for me always every step of the way.

I dearly love the greatest love of my life which entered effortlessly and unexpectedly but made everything look brighter and exciting.

People enter your life all the time.

Some are supposed to stay and some are supposed to leave.

Some are keepers and some are not.

Its not until you feel the change in yourself that you really know what a wonderful feeling love is.

When the unexpected is in front of you and your eyes are open a miracle will happen.

If your eyes are closed nothing will change.

A good friend of mine tells me that my life is an example of how to live the life alive!

Those words of his I keep in my heart and think about often. They follow me and they remind me that being alive means both feeling good and feeling not so good but it is always up to me to choose the path.

My path is towards happiness.

My path is full of love and gratitude.

My path will sometimes enter sadness and regret but I will always rise up again.

My path is with someone that loves me unconditionally and knows more about me and my feelings than anyone else in the world.

Happiness is the road.

Hulda Bjornsdottir

ps: why am I writing about my thoughts? Because someone might need to hear my words, that´s what makes me share my thoughts with you.

• 

14. July 2021

Good afternoon everyone.

This is not going to optimistic or fun to read.

Today is a very sad day and I feel like I can imagine those who suffer from depression feel perhaps most of the days.

Normally I wake up and am grateful for the new day and happy about being alive and just being happy in general.

This morning I woke up sad and like I had lost something.

I have lost something for sure. I have lost normal, just as so many of us during this pandemic.

I took a walk very early and that felt good, not too hot and almost no people around and I was just there with my thought and misery.

I should be happy, I have someone in my life that loves me, my friends care about me and they would do anything to help if I only asked.

I don´t what to ask for, so I don´t ask.

I miss normal terribly. I miss not being able to hug and kiss my friends and go wherever I want to go whenever I want to.

When I got home from my walk, I watered the garden downstairs and that felt good.

Then I made a tomato soup, and that was the first time ever I have made a tomato soup. It was ok, in fact I liked it a lot. I need to have soup every day and since I had lots of tomatoes I decided to try. Now I have this soup for the rest of a week, or 7 days until I get my next organic veggies.

While the soup cooked, I had breakfast, bread, egg, goat cheese and Chinese tea. That was fine.

I got a phone call from someone that calls everyday because of some business we are doing and that was just refreshing and ok.

During all these fine minutes and hours there was the looming sadness and I wanted to cry but did not. The feeling of sad did not leave me.

I went downstairs with some rubbish and the family that lost one of their own were leaving. I have not seen them since the loss and I went to the mother and gave her a big hug and held for a long time. She was and is so sad and all I could do was just hold her in my arms for a while. There is nothing that can be done but to wait for the pain to ease and perhaps the family will survive.

At least I was happy to finally be happy to express my condolences.

I did not dare to give the men hugs and I just left them alone. I am not sure how they would take it if I said something to them so I just smile to them when I see them and send them loving thoughts.

There is so little that can be done.

During the afternoon I have moved up and down, from being terribly sad and into being almost normal. I got a phone call which ended into nothing because of a bad internet connection and that is a conversation that needs to be finished.

The heat has not been unbearable here today, not as bad as was expected, thank God.

We will have some very hot days ahead but going out early in the morning will safe me and my heart from dying from the heat.

I still feel sad and not happy at the moment and I know I need to get up from this pit I have allowed me to fall into.

I will be ok I know that and I am grateful for not being depressed.

Feeling sad is normal once in a while. Feeling like crying is also fine. Feelings are normal, both the positive ones and the negative ones. They are just feelings that come and go. Feelings are not a decease. They are part of being alive. Meditation and listening to beautiful music helps to get on track again.

I just want normal so terribly much.

I want to be with my loved one and have a normal life again.

Is that too much to ask?

I don´t think it is too much, and now it is just to get up and figure it out how to survive the next months. The year is almost over, time flies and everything will be ok.

Today is just me being human and complaining into the cosmo.

Hulda Björnsdóttir

8th of July 2021

Why are we heartbroken?

Sometimes our hearts are broken and we feel like the world is over.

The truth is that without knowing the feeling of being broken we don´t appreciate the feeling of being whole!

I know it sounds strange but this is my experience and I can only talk about what I have lived through and perhaps there is someone out there who needs to hear what I have to say.

I appreciate every day I wake up and I put all my love into the moment. I appreciate being well and being able to feel this happy joy in my heart every day and allow it to grow every minute.

I have been in love and lost that love either to someone else or just to death.

Sometimes I have told you that losing a child is the worst that can happen to you. I am not so sure about that because many who lose their loved one don´t have, and never have had a child but they still feel this horrible loss.

I want to talk today about loosing a love of another grown up person.

You are in love with someone and they are your friends but they don´t love you back as a man or a woman, they just love you as their friends.

Being in a situation where your love is not the right one but you still want it to be, can be complicated and letting go without breaking your heart perhaps impossible.

A broken heart will be mended.

You will survive and become stronger and wiser. A broken heart is a lesson in live and can be used for the greater good of your soul.

Letting go of your loved one is a strength.

Letting go with love is a power.

The right person is waiting for you. The right person will arrive and if you approach life with open eyes and optimism miracles will happen.

My opinion is that love is the power of everything. It is not just the love between a man and a woman, it is the love for the nature, love for the live, love for your animals, love for your health, love for your body, love for the food on your table. You just name it.

Gratitude is the other part of love.

Gratitude and love walk hand in hand. They are like a heart, two parts of the one fit together.

If you are not grateful you will be looking without finding.

Be grateful for everything and happiness is granted.

Be happy and you will find someone to share your happiness with.

Just my thoughts today about the beauty of love in our daily lives and expressing my gratitude to the ones who love me truly as their friends and the one and only that loves me like no-one else can.

Hulda Björnsdóttir

7. júlí 2021

Góðan daginn

Í gær skrifaði ég á Facebook síðuna mína:

Ástin er yndislegasta tilfinning í heiminum

Svo ótrúlega sniðugar athugasemdir sem ég fékk.

Það er alveg ljóst að fólk, margir hverjir, hafa ekki hundsvit eða hugmynd um hvað orðið ást merkir og tengja það bara við eitt.

Ást er yndisleg og hún er í alls konar myndum.

Í gær fékk ég mynd af lítilli stúlku sem fæddist fyrir mánuði og var eins og gjöf frá Guði til fjölskyldu sem hefur misst svo ógurlega mikið síðasta árið. Litla stúlkan færði ást inn í fjölskylduna og þar sem áður ríkti sorg og vanlíðan er nú lífið fullt af ást og gleði.

Ég elska náttúruna og nýt hennar hvort sem það rignir eða skín sól. Það er í huga mínum Sönn og yndisleg ást

Ég elska blómin mín sem gleðja mig á hverjum morgni þegar ég geng út á svalirnar mínar og bíð góðan daginn. Það er yndisleg tilfinning þrungin ást.

Ég elska vini mína sem eru út um allan heim. Þeir auðga líf mitt og ég fæ að kynnast mismunandi hefðum og þjóðfélagsuppbyggingu. Það er enn ein tegund af yndislegri ást.

Ég elska nemendur mína sem aldrei yfirgefa mig og þrátt fyrir langan aðskilnað og mikla fjarlægð eru þeir í sambandi við kennarann sinn og við ræðum um heima og geyma. Það er enn ein tegundin af yndislegri ást.

Þröngsýni og forpokaður hugsunarháttur margra íslenskra manna og kvenna sem ég þekki er svo lítill vexti að hann sér ekki fegurð ástarinnar á lífinu sjálfu.

Forpokaður hugsunarhátturinn sér bara eitt þegar talað er um ást: Það eina sem kemur upp í hugann hjá þessu fólki er karl og kona í ástarsambandi og enn einn forpokahátturinn er að þessi karl-kona ást geti bara þrifist á ákveðnum aldri!

Ég vorkenni þessum forpokuðu hugsuðum og ætla ekki að reyna að sannfæra þá um að ást sé lífið sjálft með öllum sínum ótal tilbrigðum og tækifærum.

Mér bara datt þetta svona í hug og gat ekki setið á mér.

Lítið í kringum ykkur og sjáið hvar ástin blómstrar svo fallega.

Njótið tilfinningarinnar og opnið hugann.

Hulda Björnsdóttir

6th of July 2021

BOM dia amigos

Good morning everyone

Today is a fresh morning in my little village and this morning I want to dedicate to a wonderful person who lost her life a year ago.

Those who God loves the most sometimes die young, is a saying

A beautiful young woman lost her life this day last year.

Her husband lost the love of his life, he lost his wife and his best friend when the future ahead should be bringing happiness and joy

Live goes on for those left behind I know her soul rests in peace and she is looking after her husband’s happiness.

Let’s remember to show love to our dearest, we never know when they are taken away from us.

I send you hugs and kisses wherever you are in the world my friends

Beijinhos amigos e abraços grandes com amore e luz

Hulda Björnsdóttir

5th of July 2021

Good morning

Today is the 5^th day of July and the summer is still in hiding here in my little village, which is good. The heat is not there and the fires are not there either. Enjoying the situation while it lasts is the goal. Today when I woke up the roads were wet and tiny drizzle. The next days are supposed to be around 20 something but then we get 30 at least for 3 days.

I have got new neighbours upstairs and they seem to be having a loud argument every day after midnight.

The mad one downstairs spent one night there few nights ago with a man and a woman. They had a loud discussion during the whole night.

I am grateful for the downstairs one not spending his nights there, but living in his mother’s house, which he inherited after her death last year, I think.

So, the reason I am writing now is this:

I have come to realise that if I think about what I want but don´t have I am not sending the right message to the universe.

Doing that I am sending the message of lacking and what I get is more lacking.

Makes sense?

In a way it does make sense to me.

You get what you wish for! someone said  

Instead of I want, I could say that I am grateful for what I have and for what I am getting. I can see myself in the situation I dream about and feel like it has already happened.

To be able to do this I have to know what I want my life to look like. Would I want changes or would I just want to stay the same, in the same box where I know everything or go on and find the exciting adventures that I so much like?

I want to go on and continue finding the excitement and adventures and I know exactly what I would want my life to look like.

To get to the new road I am walking every day.

To reach to the cross road takes some time but the cross road is just few months away, at them most.

Everything is shifting and I am grateful and excited.

I know what I like to happen and I believe it will.

Gratitude for what I have accomplished so far is there and gratitude for the process and the love for my life and my future is there.

Every day I prepare for the future.

Every day I see my future in a bright light, shining on me and my loved ones.

Every day I paint the picture and the details get there.

Patience for the end result, I told myself but then I thought, there is no end result, there is just the process of live and continuation of happiness and love.

Hulda Björnsdóttir

• 

• 

In my life there are roads, some are straight ahead and some are bumpy.

There are even roads that I find comfortable and don´t want to leave.

Sometimes I just want to be in the box and not open it to see ahead, but that is not often, thank God.

Anyway, now I am at cross roads and needed to make up my mind where to go, should I go to the left or to the right?

Should I perhaps continue straight ahead?

I had a choice, I could be in the box traveling straight ahead on the road I know or I could turn when reaching the cross road and begin walking the new one.

I made a choice, I am going to change and walk the new unknown road. I am excited and looking forward to the adventures ahead. My life is never boring and don´t think that I will be like a good girl behaving like a perfect person. No, that’s not me. I need excitement in my life. I need adventures. I need something new every day.

If nothing exciting is happening in my life I just make something happen. Sometimes it is a vice choice and sometimes it is not.

I am reading a wonderful book about the power of love in our lives. It is not about love between a man and a woman in particular. It is about love in general and how we can make our lives changing if we emphasise on the wonderful feeling of love.

Some of us find our soul mate and some of us don´t.

Life is full of love, if we just unlock the box where we have it hidden.

Love can be frightening and negativity tries to take control. The power is in our hands and we can change our daily lives simply by putting love ahead of everything else.

I don´t like the Covid. I don´t like the masks. I don´t like not being able to be with my loved ones and give them hugs and kisses.

But –

The world is like it is today and it is not in my power to change everything but I can make sure that I surround me and my heart with loving thoughts and feelings, accepting what I cannot change.

I can wake up in the morning and see the day as a good day ahead full of adventures and happiness and tasks that I will make the most of for the good of me and those I care about.

In my little land the summer is still on holiday and has not arrived yet. The mornings are grey and cold but then the sun wakes up and everything is brighter. The mornings are fresh and grey. Everything is still. The birds are happy singing their songs and enjoying the situation.

I am happy and I am seriously in love with everything these days. What a wonderful feeling that is.

Gratitude is on top of my mind every minute of the day. My life is not to be taken for granted, my happiness is not to be taken for granted but I deserve it and I appreciate it.

There is a higher power somewhere taking care of everything and I am in that wave. I am recovering well after a surgery and now the seventh week of recovery has begun. The road ahead is unknown but it is the moment I have got that I will enjoy.

Hulda Björnsdóttir