7th of August 2017
In October last year I broke my shoulder and had an operation.
My car had been a bit sick for some time. He made those strange sounds, like someone was trying to break into it. He had been to the car doctor but nothing seemed to be broken. My mechanics told me to observe when the poor thing made those sounds.
One morning when the last debate was between Hillary and Trump, I woke up at 6 in the morning. I wanted to see the debate. Went to the bathroom, brushed my teeth and did what you do in the morning. On my way from the bathroom I feel and broke my shoulder.
My shoes were to blame for me falling and of course Trump. I was wearing MBT shoes and somehow stepped back and lost my balance. Since I have got osteoporosis, this was what I could expect. Anyway, I got up and called my vegetable man. He comes once a week and brings organic vegetables. I told him I would not need them this week because I was most likely going to spend some time in the hospital, because I had likely broken something. At that moment I was not sure how bad it was.
Just a normal day.
He called the ambulance for me and the wonderful ambulance people came and took me to the emergency.
It is the shoulder and the upper arm, said the doctor. I was not happy. The plan was to go to Germany in November and to China early next year. You are not going anywhere, said the doctor. You need to have an operation.
Next day I called my friend and told her what had happened and asked her to bring me some pyjamas and a bit of this and that, things you need if you stay in a hospital. She is a wonderful friend and took care of me during this all.
Well, my car was not happy. I had left it alone and it started screaming. The neighbour called and told me the car was making a terrible noise. A terrible noise and no one could sleep.
My friend went to Penela, took care of the car and everything was ok! To make a long story short, the police took care of the screaming car and they had the keys until I got home from the hospital.
Few hours after I woke up from the operation my phone rang. The neighbour was there. The car is making sound, horrible sounds, he said, and everyone is complaining. Everyone!
I got pissed off. really pissed off. I knew who those EVERYONs were. You can see them in the pictures below.
I could see them, in my mind of course, since I was far away in a hospital bed, full of medicine after an operation. I got mad.
What do you want me to do? I asked. Do you want me to come to Penela and fix the car? I just woke up from the operation as you well know.
No, he said, but everyone is complaining!
Hah. Now I lost it. I told him to call the police, not to call me again, ever, and I hung up.
My rom mates, 7 elderly ladies, and their guests just looked at me like I was from another planet when I started to laugh heartily . I suddenly saw the rumourmongers in Penela not knowing what to do, looking at each other in despair. One of the guests gave me a banana to calm me down. They thought I had lost it completely and a banana was the solution. They were sweet.
When I came home, 10 days later, one of the wonderful complainers, my wonderful neighbour, who knows everything about everyone, the head rumourmonger, came running out of her house, trying to take my things away from my friend, who had picked me up from the hospital.
I turned to her, the neighbour, and told her in a very CLEAR English, which she does not understand, TO GO AWAY.
My dear friend, she is Portuguese, told the idiot, in Portuguese, that I did not want help!
Few days later I heard a loud discussion outside my window. There was the idiot, trying to get news from one of the neighbours in my condominium, who did not know anything and was not happy about being asked, and did not want to know anything about the foreigners situation.
The idiot has been trying for 6 years to get into my apartment. She is dying to see how I live. How everything is inside. What kind of furniture I have. I have managed to keep her away and she will never enter my house.
The old couple in the photo, the man is the one who called to the hospital, came across me some weeks after I began going for a walk and stopped me. She grabbed my arm, the one that had been operated. I thought she was going to kill me, it hurt so terribly. I did not talk to them. I had told the man I did not want to talk to them EVER. I managed to get free and walked on. The lady stood screaming after me: WE DID NOT CALL THE POLICE.
Idiots. They think I was angry because they called the police. I told them to call the police. I have no idea who did it, but that was what I wanted them to do. My friend had spoken to the police and left the keys with them so, if my car began to miss me again and cry, they could fix the problem and just disconnect everything.
Some people can not be saved. They are idiots and will always be idiots. During these 10 days, in the hospital, I learned a lot and there are many funny stories to be told, but that’s for another day.