Why am I crying?

 28 th of May

The social media is the communication road during these days,

When I was threatened some months ago I decided to unfriend almost all of my Icelandic friends on Facebook.

Later I changed the information on the platform and hid all the personal info, among others the date of birth.

Last year I had my birthday on the 22^nd of May and got more than 200 birthday wishes.

This year I had my birthday on the 22^nd of May and got not one birthday wish.

This showed to me how all the likes and comments on the social media are meaningless.

Some think that the more friends and followers you have got on the media the more friends you have. Seriously, that is not the case.

The true friends are the ones that remember you outside the social media.

I am lucky and I have 2 friends that remembered my birthday and I am grateful for them.

Why am I talking about this?

Well, you are forgotten while you are alive, in some cases, but when you die more people remember you!

There is something really wrong with the times we live on.

The trend is to put everyone on the internet and social media. There are many of the older generation that simply can´t, and they need personal, old-fashioned methods, like talking face to face, hugging and kissing and sitting next to each other while talking.

Life was different just few decades ago, before all the social communication.

The short messages that you sometimes need a dictionary to understand, are the trend.

The likes that have very little meaning are the quickest way and widely used. At least I woke up and realised that instead of putting like on something I could write some words to show that I truly cared.

Languages suffer because of the lack of communication, verbal communication.

This birthday was a reminder for me.

It was ok, not to get birthday wishes, but it reminded me of how shallow the friendship on social media is when you dig deep.

I have one more year in my bag and I am grateful for that. 

There is no guarantee that the time I have is unlimited and I have to make the most of every day I have got and try to make a good deed for someone every day. There are plenty of people who need us.

I am grateful for this day. It has been difficult and it has been fine. The mornings are difficult these days and my emotions run high. I don´t know how the near future will be and I have to be patient and wait for what the universe has in store for me.

I don´t think I have ever cried as much as these last weeks and months. Crying is ok and the angels are taking care of the water from the eyes. I am truly worried about my near future but I know deep down that whatever happens will be for the best.

I am a strong woman and I can manage whatever I need to face.

Happiness is not something that I can take for granted. Looking at the bright side is something I can do and is in my power alone.

Looking for the small wonderful things that happen every day is the nourishment for the soul.

I am trying and sometimes I manage and sometimes I don´t. That is ok. I am human and I am not a robot.

Why am I talking about this here?

You see, there are so many people in the world these days that are suffering mentally. They are hurt and they are hopeless. They don´t know how to manage the next days and the next weeks. Those don´t talk about how they feel and how sad and miserable they are. That is why I am telling them about how I feel now and it is ok to be sad and miserable and crying and not always managing to see the bright side or the shining star behind the cloud.

For some days I was thinking about my situation and wondering who I could talk to just to get help to manage my mental state and get back to normal. I was thinking about one person who I knew would listen without judging and would be able to lead me onto the better emotional track.

I have not heard from this person for many years me he was a very good friend and my doctor.

Then I got an email. Where are you? the friend asked just like he had got a message from me asking for his help.

This is how the universe works for me.

This is why I have so much to be grateful for every day.

This is why I share with you, my reader, my sadness and my joy.

There is always a shining star behind every cloud.

Hulda Bjornsdottir