13. September 2022
It feels like my life is over
Of course, it is not over, it is just painful at the moment.
I have been the gullible woman I have been my whole life.
I have believed even though my gut feeling has told me otherwise.
I have been spending almost 2 years in a dream and now I hope I am waking up for good.
It is humiliating
It is devastating
It is sad
I should be angry but I am just terribly sad.
I’m like a leave in huge storm and flying back and forth without any direction.
I have lost my believe in a way.
I have lost my happiness for a moment
I have lost my everything it seems
I have to pick my self up and take care of my soul.
I can do it
I have done it before and I am stronger than ever
I know the truth but I want to hold on to the lie.
This does make sense
I’m truly terribly human
The road ahead is there but I have no idea where it is going to take me.
My life will change
My future will be different than I expected
I could say that everything is lost but it is not. A lesson has been learned and I am the student that is taking the final test.
I have to survive the test; I just have to. My life depends on it.
I can cry for a while but then I have to rise up and smile even brighter than before.
Life is not over.
A chapter is over and a new one begins.
It will take time to recover, but patience is all that matters.
For some time, I have been worried about how to manage 2 tests at the hospital the same morning. Yesterday I got a call and they asked me if I could come on the next day for one of the tests. I was happy and said thank you, this is perfect.
I thought yesterday, this is how everything works out for the best, I just have to believe.
It is good to think about this tiny matter when my life is upside down and it makes me stronger and the believe that everything happens for a reason and everything will turn out for the best is the lesson.
It will be interesting to see how my strength returns and my happiness will shine again.