15th of March 2022
Cleaning the clutter can be a good therapy when you are feeling down.
I have been throwing away all kinds of stuff that has not moved since I came to Portugal.
Why do we keep old things which we never use?
I grew up with never throwing anything away because one day you might have use for it!
This was decades ago and I am still keeping the crap.
Old shoes, old clothes, old things that are not used anymore.
Some of the stuff I have put in the garage, to keep for a bit longer!
Then there are the books that I used when I was teaching and are still in my book shelfs. Am I going to keep them forever?
And the books in Icelandic that I can’t even give to the library, are they still going to take up space 5 years from now?
Most of the time I am wearing the same clothes. Why don´t I just get rid of all the not used that are downstairs?
Cleaning the physical clutter is also good for the soul. The mind is full of clutter. Old things that happened decades ago and things that happened just few days ago are taking up space in the mind and hampering the joy of the moment.
Threats from my closest blood family are also disturbing my peace of mind.
Being threatened has affected my daily life even though I try not to let it take over.
Close friends are what saves me from collapsing but in the end, it is up to me and no one else to protect my mind and stay sane.
I have changed my lifestyle a lot during the last months, or since December when I got the call.
I have in a way given the power to those who hate me and want to destroy me.
Someone reminded me today that I have not been blogging for a month.
Yesterday I was thinking about continuing to write the story “The outcast” and I probably will take it up again in few days.
I know I have to rise up again and let go of the power of those who hate me with all their hearts and want to destroy everything that I have left of my life.
I truly don´t know how I am going to survive.
I know that I am strong and I have gone through a lot during my life but I am so tired of fighting the evil.
I have not defended myself.
I ask myself again and again if I should when the attack strikes. I don´t know.
It looks like the trend in the country where I come from is to go decades back in memory accusing people of all kind of things. The social media is used for destroying people and their future. The people are willing to participate in the conversation and judge by hearing about one side of the coin and forgetting that there are always two sides of every coin.
I will continue to clear the clutter and make my apartment free of unnecessary things. It might help!
Today is a very strange day and the air is yellow!
It is getting dark but nothing has changed and the Sahara dust is still thick over my little village.