16th of July 2020
I was thinking about how we seem to move in the same circles again and again.
We meet new people and then suddenly we find out that they know someone we know.
This can be a bit uncomfortable.
As far as I remember I read somewhere long time ago that we are borne again and again and we move in a circle of the same people again and again. Could this be true? I wonder, of course I don´t know anything about afterlife or former lives or whatever there is.
I do though find it a bit bizarre if this life is the beginning and the end. That does not make much sense to me because so much is out there that we have no idea about.
Let us say that every soul lives forever or at least for a very long time, maybe 5000 years or there about.
Let us assume that we do move in the same circles, life after life and when we finish the lesson to be learned we expand the group. Could that make sense? I am not sure but find it interesting.
I do believe that I come to this world now to learn a lesson. I also am sure that the universe makes sure I get the teachers I need when I need them and they do wake me up if I allow them into my life.
When a lesson is learned another one pops up and there we go again.
Some lessons are more complicated than others. Some lessons I have to study many times until I finally, hopefully grasp what I should understand.
I get frustrated when I realise that I make the same mistakes again many times and there seems to be no end to the confusion.
One lesson I find hard is to value me. It is hard for me to realise how super fine I am for me!
Confidence seems to embrace me but inside there is this little child that is not sure of anything and believes that giving is the way to get you to like it.
I am perfect at giving but receiving is not simple. I seem to be trying to be ahead and giving more than getting and then I end up losing everything.
I was reminded about some of this when my banker called me today. We have not seen each other for months and he was asking about everything. He is in fact a good friend, as so many of my Portuguese fellow countrymen. Anyway, I will go to the bank tomorrow after the gym and see my friend. We have some things to discuss and something to decide for me. Nothing serious just a formality and I know what I am going to do.
The last time we spoke, me and my friend in the bank, I was thinking about building a house and he was going to assist me in every way possible. I changed my mind and decided to be happy with my apartment and not make some drastic changes.
How does this all fit into my character flaw of giving rather than receiving? That is a story for another time.
This time I am going to concentrate on the fact that when I get to know new people they somehow seem to fit into a group of those I already know.
It is strange, but perhaps not when taken into account that I was born in tiny land and spent most of my adulthood there.
I am in a way dreading that some new friends will figure out the old friends and then there will be a lot of explanation which I don´t want.
Life is complicated, and wonderful.
Dreams are there and they take time to appear in reality but they will. There is just patience that needs to jump in.
Have you ever thought about this?
Many people always do the same again and again, they never take chances and there is not adventure in their lives?
I would die if I did not have dreams to build on and nourish.
Just a thought for today in the sunshine and 41 degrees heat that is killing me. Tomorrow is another hot day, even worse and next week will be hot as well. Terrible but true.