Guilt is a horrible feeling!

5th of June 2019

When you are struggling with health life becomes a bit peculiar.

You think you are ok when you wake up in the morning but after a while something is not quite as it should be. It can be devastating and many people know this. But, there are many who don´t understand because they are always healthy! Really!

When I look back and contemplate on 3 years more or less I am amazed of how I survived. With the help of perfect doctors, the help of friends and the help of never giving up, I understand. I did not survive of my own.  I did because I have a safety net around me and great people.

Sometimes I get furious and want just to give up.

But, there is always something or someone that lifts me up and it has been like that my whole life. The truth is that since young age I have not been with really strong health. My mother told me so but I did not believe her. When looking back I see the truth. My mother was a wise woman. We did not always see eye to eye but I saved her life more than once and we had a lot in common. I make it my pride not to talk about the bad times. If I talk about her it is about the good times.

I believe as so many others that we choose our parents. The parents don´t choose us. We, the children, know what lesson we need to learn and choose the best parents to help us study!

I am grateful for all my lessons the parents I choose taught me. They were amazing teachers. I did not always listen but I learned. They made sacrifices, more than I could understand and I am grateful for that.

When children, grown ups, blame the parents on what went wrong and belittle their parent the lesson has not been learned. It is easy to say “I love myself” and that is supposed to solve everything. Does ” I love myself” give us the right to belittle or even destroy the lives of those who brought us into this world? I don´t think so. I think “I love myself” means that I need to be a kind person, respecting my parents, and not blaming them for my mistakes.

Guilt is a horrible companion.

Those who belittle their parents are carrying guilt and are not strong enough or brave enough to face their own feelings with honesty.

There are many who take your money for telling you how wonderful you are and how bad your parents have been!. Those money makers are everywhere. How much good do they do I don’t know but I know they can do a lot of damage that needs to be corrected in next life!

So here you have my thoughts for today in English, and just in English.

I hope your day will be ok and I hope you will see my story about the wonderful wedding and the customs here in my little lands, soon.

Hulda Björnsdóttir

Author: ebemiede2

I do blog about different matters that interest me.

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