Why am I so angry ? – Embrace your anger!

The anger is there but the understanding also

1 st of April 2020

Suddenly I became terribly angry

Suddenly I remembered how you treated me

Suddenly I understood how you had been using me for your pleasure

Suddenly I understood how hallow your pledge of forgiveness was

Suddenly I understood your selfishness

Suddenly I understood your hatred

Suddenly I stood by my side and fought for me

Suddenly you could not use me anymore

Suddenly I was mine and not yours

Suddenly everything made sense

Suddenly I saw how I had allowed you to use me and my kindness

Suddenly everything became clear and I knew you did only love yourself

Suddenly I understood why you were spreading the lies

Suddenly I understood why you blamed me

Suddenly I understood you blaming me was you getting rid of your own guilt

One day at a time you did not drink

One day at a time you worked the steps

One day at a time you asked the higher power to guide you

One day at a time you thought you were listening to your inner self

One day at a time you told me everything was my fault

Suddenly I realised how mad it was to believe a word you told me

You did not love me

You only loved you

I gave you the life

I gave you home and I sacrificed everything so you would not have to walk the same path I did

You blame me for your lack of fortune

Stop blaming me

Take responsibility for your actions and leave me alone.

You tell the people about me but you don´t tell people about you and how you destroyed me

Do I forgive you?

I don´t know!

At least not today.

Mabybe tomorrow and maybe never. Do you deserve my forgiveness? I don´t know.

Why are you helping them after how they have treated you? my boss asked

I have to! I told him

He looked at me at shook his head. No, you don´t have to. You have done more than enough, he said.

I understand his words and feelings now and I am grateful for his support.

My thought for today shared with you who read this is an angry one and it is ok to feel the anger. The goal is to accept it and then throw it in the direction where it belongs

Hulda Björsdóttir

Author: ebemiede2

I do blog about different matters that interest me.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: