Author: hulda98

14th of June 2023

How did it all begin?

Why did I become so naïve and gullible?

Well, I have always been gullible and believed the best in everyone. That is a Caracter rate I am stuck with and I think it is just fine, as long as I am aware of it!

I didn’t sleep well last night and was tossing and turning until late.

I am not sad, and I have not been crying now for many days and that is a relieve.

I was thinking about how I could not have listened to my gut feeling.

I was also thinking about why did I for weeks suddenly start crying, out of the blue, like my heart was being broken into pieces and I could hardly breath? Why, why ?

It was normal, my gut feeling was warning me and trying to wake me up and make me take action to protect myself.

I on the other hand thought it was because my lover was sick and his pain was affecting me! Seriously!

I was completely broken and I could hardly function. My life was on hold and had been on hold for months and months. I used my computer to write my anguish and sorrow and my diary is full of crying and asking God to help me.

It was my birthday soon and I was not looking forward to it. This birthday we should have been together and celebrating one more year.

Instead, he was far away and I was in my home waiting just like I had been waiting last year.

I got a wonderful birthday wish from my lover just after midnight.

It said how he prayed to God to bring our dreams come true and how much he loved me and despite all the obstacles we would be together as a husband and wife.

It would be his birthday after 2 weeks. Then I would have to send a beautiful birthday wish and tell him how much I loved him and how I missed not being able to be with him on this special day!

This was the same as last year.

Nothing had changed.

Was I really going through this all once again, one month again, one year again?

No!

This had to stop and I had to be strong and just let go of what was empty promises and lies from a to z.

I told him I was ending the relationship.

Oh, what a surprise! Why was I acting like this?

 How could I believe that a man who had been sick more or less for 2 and half year, that he would arrived in my homeland, going to work and take care of me and pay back all the money I had given him and live happily ever after and show the world how happy we were?

The truth is that I did not believe this.

I confronted him several times when I was angry and asked how he did think he could work here and suddenly be healthy, after being sick hear after year?

He smooth talked me, and I fell again into the trap.

Was there no way for me to understand that he was really fighting for his life and the main concern was to get back his health? And to do that he needed money! He needed to have a total check-up.  

Didn’t I understand that?

Didn’t I understand that he was alone in the world and I was the only one who could help him?

No friends, no family, no one except the wonderful woman he loved more than his life!

After my birthday something changed in my mind and I became calm and saw the reality in a different light, truly convinced in my heart that the innocent face was not innocent, it was a face of a scammer, who I had allowed to use me for month after month, for more than 2 years!

When I thought about him, I did not feel any compassion, I didn’t feel angry, I just felt kind of numb.

The man I had loved died and instead came the real scammer.

I went trough the messages from the beginning and saw the pattern clearly, the pattern I had seen many times before but always retreated because of the smooth talk.

The manipulation was complete.

I had taken many tantrums accusing him of being a cheat and he had managed to get me back.

I had felt guilty and, on my knees, begged him to forgive me and forgive the harsh words I had used.

He always forgave me, because of his love for me!

This was madness. I had lost my mind and I knew it.

But!

I was rising up.

I search the messages in the beginning and there he speaks about how my age is a problem! After few weeks, the age was not a problem and he was falling in love with me!

I became the most wonderful woman in the world. The saviour and the new God in his life.

It felt good to be appreciated. We were getting married and everything would be perfect.

But it was not perfect, everything was very strange and his voice when I spoke to him sounded strange, but not true! He was acting sick!

I have to give him that he is quite and actor!

Now he is most likely, and has at least since January, searching for a new victim. The new profile, and the likes there point in the direction. He of course doesn’t know anything about this profile and does not understand why Facebook doesn’t take it down!

The truth is that the scammers always have an excuse. We, the victims, believe them until one day we don´t.

The truth always comes out. It is just a question how much damage has been done to us, the victims.

I sacrificed a lot.

But I did survive and now I am free, but it hurts. That is normal and it will take time to heal.

My writing helps me to heal.

By far is this experience the most difficult and damaging that I have gone through since childhood. The lesson was harsh, but I am wiser now.

I’m repeating myself. I know that. It’s necessary for the healing process. I dig deeper into myself and my perspective changes.

Hulda Bjornsdottir

13th of June 2023

The scammers use words, beautiful words but their actions are augly

Don’t fall for them

Listen to your gut feeling

I didn’t listen to my gut feeling until I had lost both my serenity and peace

I’ve finally gotten the best of me and saved myself

He is trying to get to me again with smooth talk

He doesn’t understand that I am safe

In January 2021 he told me that the problem was that I was old.

I didn’t notice it and kept believing the smooth talk

The story is going to come out piece by piece

His name I will tell at the end

More lies are dripping from him even though I don’t reply

Stupid people are just stupid and they are no match to me

I don’t give him the energy to hate him

He is just a pathetic lier and manipulater

I am gullible but I learned my lesson the hard way

Hulda Bjornsdottir

12th of June 2023

Today is Monday and a new week has arrived.

How many new weeks I have waited for and hoped that this week the future husband would get his Working visa!

Week after week I believed.

Month after month I trusted.

Year after year I still trusted.

Being scammed is complicated when you are in the recovering process and today is a bit more difficult than yesterday and the days before.

Today is a day of tiny bit of sadness and sorrow.

Today is also a day of hope.

The hope gives strength and it will make me free.

Yesterday I got a message which said that now he had the passport with him. Does that mean he got the working visa? I don´t think so. I believe this is one more example of how seriously stupid he is. He thinks that I believe everything he tells me and he has not yet realised that I have left.

He thinks I am complete idiot, based on the outburst from me before where I have accused him of being a scam.

I decided to let HIM block me from WhatsApp just as he did from Facebook.

How can you block a person you say you love dearly?  You want to be able to connect, won’t you?

Anyway, I have been going through the communication and found many things quite interesting from the beginning which should have lit up the warning signs on my mind, but did not.

I fell into the trap and stayed there for 2 and a half year, believing the lies even though I did rise up again and again, accusing him of not being honest. He always managed to get me to change my opinion and everything was fine for some time again.

On the internet there is a lot of information about the scammers and this is one example.

“CAN A SCAMMER FALL IN LOVE WITH YOU?

This may lead people to ask if scammers can actually fall in love. If you’ve been a victim of a romance scammer, its important to understand that THIS PERSON DOES NOT LOVE YOU. Their only goal is to extract something from you, most often money. Any promises of love or a future together are manipulations.”

The shame of being stupid and believing is there but it is fading away slowly day by day.

I have lost the dream and am facing the reality and it takes courage and strength not to fall apart but I will make it.

When I look at the situation with the eyes of a bystander, I see the scam clearly. What will the next days and weeks look like for me?

Will I manage to accomplice what I have started?

I believe so. I believe in my intelligence and I am going to use it wisely.

Something important has been taken away from me, the believe in human beings and that they are honest and loving, and can be trusted.  I will get this believe back and I am wiser now than I was 3 years ago. There is no doubt about that.

There are stages of grieve that I am going through.  I didn’t sleep well last night and that is ok. Grieving like someone you love dearly has died is the feeling I am experiencing combined with anger and disappointment.

I will continue to write the story but this is for today.

Hulda Bjornsdottir

Why are we afraid of telling the truth

11. June 2023

Being a victim of a romantic scam can be complicated and humiliating.

I do understand that some of us may not want other people to know what has happened and we feel ashamed.

How could we be so stupid and why did we not listen to our friends who warned us?

These are valid questions.

Although, if we keep quiet, we are enabling the scammers to continue and find other victims.

That is why I decided to tell my story from beginning to end.

I have been going through the communication that has been either on messages or videos.

Of course, I don´t have the life communication, by phone or video, but that is ok, what I have got is enough.

When I read the communication I think, HOW COULD I BE SO STUPID?

When I look now with open eyes I ask my self what was wrong with me, why did I fall for the smooth talk?

I am a clever intelligent woman but I let my guard down and that is why I fell flat for the scammer.

This began during Covid and I wonder if the isolation during that time played some part. I missed normal communication with my friends and there the shining knight appeared!

I am not sure why I did continue the relationship because I did quite often see through the scam but somehow, he always managed to convince me that everything was ok and I begged him to forgive me for being so mean!

This is the simple truth.

I felt so terribly guilty not believing his love and his wonderful words!

Normally I am not a lonely person, and I have not felt lonely until I entered this relationship. I felt completely alone often. I could not talk to anyone about my situation and I cried a lot.

I could not talk about my doubts because then people would be judgmental and would say all kinds of things that I did not want to hear about how this was most likely a scam and I would have to get away from it to save myself.

No, I believed him.

And the strangest thing was that I fell deeply in love with the kind man. When I looked at his pictures and saw the honest innocent calm face I felt so guilty ever doubting him.

Of course, I fell in love with a dream, not with the reality.

I could share everything with him and he did not judge me! I trusted him completely for my innermost thoughts! There was this wonderful connection and love!

When I began to send him money it was just a small amount and I looked at it like a contribution to some child or person that would not have enough to survive!

He told me his situation was temporarily and in fact he was rich, just waiting to sell his property and some bad people stood in the way!

He told me he had lost his wife and that was why he felt lonely and wanted to change his life.

I knew that some of what he was telling me was the truth, I had it confirmed from some mutual friends, but of course they did not know the whole story about who he really was.

They just knew the surface and the nice front.

Anyway, when going through the conversation now in the beginning and until we decided to get married and he should come and live with me there are so many red lights that should have made me leave but I didn’t.

After a while, trying to get visa for him and talking to the authorities here I wanted him to get a working visa and we could then get married and would have enough time to convince the authorities here that this was true love, and we would be granted permission for marriage.

We made plans and we made estimation about how much the process would cost.

I was going to help, financially and the estimation was not too horribly hight.

During the process, which has now lasted more than a year I have spent a lot of money on all kind of papers for him and fees he had to pay the agent who took care of the visa.

He was supposed to come in beginning of June last year but something happened and he could not come.

He was then supposed to come month after month and always something happened.

The red lights blinked constantly but I did not see them clearly. I saw something was not working and I fought with him and accused him of using me and lying to me, but he managed to convince me everything was normal, this just took time!

I know that I am not alone in a situation like this. I know there are women all around the world being scammed every day, but they don´t speak up.

In January her told me he needed to get some paper to be able to travel and that would be the last paper he would need and then it would be his visa and everything complete.

I did send him 1.300 euros in January this year and I decided that would be the last he got from me.

He got the paper and sent me a picture of it in an email to prove to me that it was there.

What happened now was that he got sick, seriously sick and could not travel because of that. The work was waiting for him, he just needed to get his health back! And guess what! To go to the doctor he needed money, a lot of money because hospital treatment was expensive! I did not send anything. I was finally true to myself and not giving anymore.

He told me he was alone in the world and I was the only one who could help him!

I had felt for some time that when I stopped sending him money the relationship would be over.

I cried a lot during the months of this year. I woke up in the night crying and suddenly during the day I started crying just out of the blue. This was a difficult time for me and I was grieving the loss of a loved one, but I survived.

3 weeks ago, I told him the relationship was over.

I had seen a new Facebook page with his picture. The page had been set up in January. There was no info about the person but the name was his real name. He told me that this was fake and I asked him to report it to Facebook which he said he did but they refused to take it down.

I knew he was lying and I ended the engagement. He was shocked and did block me from his Facebook. That was my final proof that he had been lying to me the whole time.

I am ok now. I have recovered and my life is normal again, or almost. I feel disappointed in myself for letting me be scammed like this but it is okay. I am standing straight now and every day is a good day. I have not taken all the pictures down, there are 3 still on the wall but they will disappear when I am ready. There is no hurry.

I have learned a valuable lesson and I am strong. I have good friends who I can talk to if I need but I think I am over the talking period. Now it is just to make the most of every day and go to bed grateful for being free.

I am going to use my experience and write about it, if someone else could get out of a similar situation simply by reading my words it would be great.

There are women who have been damaged for life by an experience by the scammers. They have even lost their properties and lively hood by helping the scammers.

Let’s not keep quiet. There are ways to stop them.

Hulda Bjornsdottir

10. of June 2023

I’ve been thinking hard about it and now I am going to write about my experience with a romantic scammer

We met in 2021 on the internet and fell in love!

The relationship lasted 2 and a half year.

I was madly in love but my gut feeling told me again and again that something was not right.

I didn’t listen and thought it was just because people didn’t believe in a relationship between people when there was a age gap!

I didn’t tell many about what was going on. I kept it for me except for my closest friends.

There has been a great loving wonderful time and there have been fights where I was the angry one and accused him of being a scam.

Somehow he always managed to get me to back and admit that I was wrong and he was the loving wonderful person I wanted him to be

I looked at his picture and saw a kind, simpathic face and I felt ashamed of not trusting him

I begged him to forgive me for being so angry and distrustful.

I’m going to write about these 2 and a half year from beginning to end.

I think it might help someone.

I’ve done a lot of research about the pattern the scammers follow and he fits perfectly into it

I’ve cried more during those 2 years than ever before in my life.

Now I am well on the path to recovery and I believe it will help me to admit that I allowed him to play me.

He did get money from me and I sacrificed a lot to help him.

I was warned but I had to go through this and end it and face the truth when I was ready.

He has not got any money from me since end of January and I have got my life back, slowly but surely

This is it for today but tomorrow I will continue to tell the story

Hulda Bjornsdottir

9th of June 2023

All you can do is accept what is

Let go of what was

Have faith in what will be

Today is a good day with optimism and trust in the future

The colours of the future are bright and brilliant

I’m happy to be moving on

Hulda Bjornsdottir

8th of June 2023

A new day and a new beginning

There is something bothering me today and perhaps it will for some days but in general I feel much better than months before.

It is a national holiday in my little land today and people are not working in general.

The man downstairs, who does not live there, but comes once in a while, was playing music and really loud as usually when he is there.

I wonder where he gets his money. It looks like he is not working.

In May last year I bought a car for my future husband who did not arrive and this week I gave the car to a friend who really needed it. I had thought of selling the car but changed my mind.

My future dream died and no husband is going to arrive, even though promised.

Falling in love and being in a relationship for 2 and a half year does leave steps.

I will recover but it is hard to admit what an idiot I have been.

Although it is at least great that I saw the light eventually.

In my mind the man died.

In reality he is just a scam.

The past is past and now I am looking for the future and accepting the reality. It hurts but not as much today as some days ago.

I have my life back, my independence and freedom.

Feeling free and able to do whatever comes to my mind is good.

This was just an adventure that did not end like I thought it would but everything will be normal soon.

Tomorrow I se me dentist and he will tell me when he intends to put in the implant. I hope soon. On Tuesday I go to the hospital to meet up with my heart doctor and I am going to ask him to apply for a pacemaker for me.

I can not wait longer to make the pacemaker part of my life and hopefully I will get a better quality of life in the future. I have been refusing to get it but now is the right time.

Dr. Pedro told me last time I saw him that my quality of life would be completely different if I just accepted the situation and let them put the thing into my heart!

I have to take down some pictures of the scammer but I am not quite ready yet to let them disappear but soon everything will be clean. I am thinking about what to put in the frames and until I figure that out the face will be there.

I know that when one doors closes another always opens and that will be much brighter future and happier.

As I have said so many times here, Happiness comes from inside our minds. My mind is on the way to feel the happiness in my heart 24 hours a day for a very long time.

Everything will be fine.

I trust in the universe to take me to a place where there is piece and quiet in my mind.

Neglecting myself and sacrificing my life in a way has ben the past months but now I am the priority and my responsibility is to take the best care of my body and soul.

May love and light embrace me and you who reads this.

Hulda Björnsdóttir

7th of June 2023

The broken heart they leave behind

Trying to get a scammer to admit he has broken your heart is useless.

He will blame others for the problems.

He will blame the victim’s friends for getting between with their nasty comments.

The victim suffers after realizing that all the promises were just empty promises and nothing else.

The heartbreak is something that can not be passed. It will happen but it will also heal.

The victim will try to get life back and walk into normal but it is not easy, but it’s there.

The victim’s strength appears and there are friends who can help.

There are even specialists who can guide the victim to recover as quickly as possible and that is perhaps the best way.

Rest assured that the scammer will contact the victim again and again and tell her how he misses the victim and how he longs for the wonderful conversations.

He will use a lot of “My love” and “I love you”. That’s what they think works.

He will again and again tell the victim how her friends envy the couple of their love! It is never any fault of the scammer, of course not.

There is always a healing path for the victims but it will take time.

There will come times when the victim is content and thinks everything is moving back to normal and then suddenly the scammer appears again and destroys the piece.

These happenings will get less painful for the victim as time goes by and eventually life will become beautiful again.

I would advise those who are victims of scams to take action as soon as they realise what is going on.

Get rid of the scammer.

Keep him away from your daily life and if he contacts you, just ignore him.

Eventually he will give up.

The best way is to try to think about things that make life normal, just normal daily tasks.

Take a walk and breath in the beauty of nature.

Sit down and listen to relaxing music.

Read a book.

Breath, breath in and breath out and visualise the shining light embracing you.

I don´t recommend hating the scammer.

They are despicable human beings but they are not worth the energy that goes into hating.

Let them be and trust that karma will get them.

There are good people in the world and they don´t give you pain in the gut feeling and shout at you to take care. The good people will make you feel good and at piece.

If the victim wants to report the scammer and try to put a stop to the work of the group, he is definitely working with a group, I would recommend to think carefully.

Is it going to work?

Will the group be destroyed?

Is it too painful to talk about the experience as a victim?

Some victims, perhaps most of them, feel humiliated and blame themselves for being naïve and believing the lies.

There is no need to feel humiliated. These scammers are cunning and clever.

There is always a pattern and when the same pattern happens again and again that’s when the warning bells are ringing.

Don´t expect that talking to the scammer may get him to admit anything wrong. He will always blame someone else. Blaming others for the delays for example is a strong sign that something is not true.

If you are a victim of a scammer, don´t blame yourself for being stupid. Embrace yourself and be patient. It takes time to heal. You will cry and you will be angry, but it is all part of the healing process.

You will be okay in the end.

I am writing this to make a small contribution to the destruction of the scammers. Maybe one person who reads this is a victim and my writing will help.

There is a lot of information on the internet on how to figure out what is happening if you have a feeling that you are a victim.

Look it up.

Go to the police if you think that might help.

If you have some papers from the scammer have them checked, if you can, to see if they are fake or not.

If you have been sending money, please stop that immediately.

Let’s unite to destroy the scammers.

Hulda Bjornsdottir

6th of June 2023

When dreams are destroyed by the scammers, the lives of the victims are destroyed at least for a while.

Some of the victims are strong and survive, but some are not that strong emotionally and don´t survive the emotional and financial abuse they have suffered from perhaps even for years.

This is an example of how the live of the victim could become:

“Being told every day for months how much you are loved and how wonderful you are and how the man can not wait to be with you and how he is suffering not being able to take care of you, makes your dreams come real in your mind.

Being given promises how the life will be just when he has managed to get through all the hurdles in the way. What a wonderful, happy and prosperous life it will be.

He will be working and providing for you and he will definitely pay you back all the money and sacrifice you have made to get him out of the misery where he is now.

Every day and every night you get the wonderful words, that in fact mean nothing but are to soften you and make you eager to help the man you so dearly have come to love.

Every message end with: I love you, or my love. Every message!

You get video calls where you are told how beautiful you are and how he misses you.

You get voice calls where he tells you how bad his health is and how he has to take care of his health before he can get the ticket to travel to you.

He is sick all the time. Why does that not trigger your stop signs?

How can he be working when he comes to you after being sick for months, and sometimes seriously ill and even afraid he will die from the illness? Why do you not believe your gut feeling? This is all to unbelievable to be true!

Why do you not act on it and end the relationship?

What is wrong with you?

Why does he again and again manage to manipulate you into believing in the dream and gain control over you?

What is wrong?

The feelings are there, you love the man you think he is and you don´t believe your gut feeling even though it is the same again and again.”

All this is normal and human and talks more about the kind heart of a woman than anything else.  She is struggling to let go because she believes in the good in people.

She does not want to believe that all her sacrifices are for nothing.

Let’s continue tomorrow.

Hulda Björnsdóttir

5 th of June 2023

When I decided to write those articles I contemplated if all the victims would be women?

I don’t know but at least many of them are women. Why is that? Could it be because women are kindhearted and gullible and believe in the good in everyone?

Whatever the reason is that so many women are the victims of scammers does not change the fact that those who lie and cheat are plain criminals.

Often, perhaps most common, is that the scammers work in groups.

They don´t have normal jobs and the days are spent by finding victims who will believe the smooth talk and fall flat for the Casanovas.

Some of the scammers show their true Fotos and tell their true names, and those are in my opinion the most dangerous ones. They appear to be true and the victims believe.

There is a pattern. The scammers follow a pattern and if you look closely at the behaviour of the believable ones you will soon realise that something is wrong.

There are different types of scammers.

There are those who use fake names and fake pictures. There are some who can easily be recognised but unfortunately there are others who sound like normal human beings, until you see the pattern.

The victims sometimes sacrifice a lot for those fakes. There are many stories about women who have spent a lot of money on those who pretend to be their future husbands. The women sacrifice a lot. They even borrow and loose their homes for the criminals.

Those who look real are the most dangerous, in my opinion. They often get away with the lies for months and even years, and the victims feel sorry for the poor men who are fighting to stay alive and want to be with the loved one but something always happens the last minute and there is a delay and more money needed.

You might ask, how can the victims not see through the pattern?

We have to keep in mind that those are clever men, they support each other and there is nothing that can stop them. This it their job, in a way, or their mission. They use God a lot and tell the victim they are praying for both of them and that God will hear the prayers.

There are women who have not just lost a lot of money, there are women who have lost their piece of mind and some have even been admitted to hospitals with mental problems after the scammers have manipulated them into complete despair.

What can be done?

We have to talk about the problem and we have to report the criminals if we know about any. The victims don´t want to write their stories . They are ashamed and vulnerable. That is understandable.

Somehow we must try to wake up and realize that scammers are a huge problem in modern times.

Let us not be silent. Let us rise up and tell the truth.

There is a lot of information about scammers on the internet, how they work and how they manipulate and cheat.

Tomorrow I want to talk about the pattern. There is a pattern and if it is repeated again and again, there is danger.

Listen to your gut feeling.

See you tomorrow.

Hulda Bjornsdottir