Author: hulda98

28th of June 2023

The month is almost over.

I am still struggling to gain piece of mind after the relationship with the scammer.

It takes time, I keep telling myself and I am more or less ok during the day but the sleep is not peaceful and I try to figure out if I am perhaps wrong and blaming the scammer for something he is not.

I assume this is normal.

Part of it disappointment in myself for being such an idiot to believe all the lies and part of it is doubt!

I go back again and again trying to convince myself that I am a victim of a criminal!

That is what I am, a victim.

I will survive and it takes time and I have to be patient.

When I doubt myself I go back to all the patterns and all the delays and all the lies.

The pattern was there.

He was supposed to be with me in OUR home a year ago!

Every time, at the beginning of a new month, there was hope that this month he would get his visa and travel!

Every month something came up about the process. He needed new documents or new certificate for vaccination or just something and he didn’t have money to get them!

I believed him and gave him money and he sent me a picture of the document some days later, or a week later, to prove to me that now it was all going to happen and he would enter the country!

I prepared and made everything as nice as possible and even made a plan how to support him until he got the first months’ pay!

Now, when I look back and try to be neutral, I see it clearly that this was all part of the scam but at the time I didn’t the whole picture!

I blamed him for fitting into the pattern of a scammer and he convinced me I was wrong!

Looking back at those 2 and a half year I see clearly the signs all over.

The people he had talking to me!

The convincing me that his health was not good at the moment, the pictures that showed not too much and the smooth talk!

I spoke to some of the group, I believe there is a group working together, on video calls.

I even got a picture of him standing at the airport, ready to leave, waiting for the agent who was going to take care of the last steps!

I believed and I trusted him and I was angry with the people who let him down!

What convinced me finally that he is a criminal was the message he sent after I ended the relationship!  There he said, “By the way, I have got the passport with me”

Not so clever!

This convinced me that he vas a criminal, who never intended to arrive in my country.

This was stupid of him and perhaps he is not too clever after all, but I just so gullible to believe all the lies.

He is out of my life but I am not recovered after the abuse.

My friends warned me, and I didn’t listen.

They asked me to be careful.

I was in love with a dream. My picture of the lover’s intentions and plans was just a dream in my heart!

This is nothing to blame myself for. This was a cruel scam and I was a victim, who suffered immensely, both mentally and financially.

The money is nothing I fret about; they are gone and that is not part of my suffering.

My suffering is in my heart being abused cruelly, month after months from the beginning.

I know that he is already in contact with several women!

It has nothing to do with me, but he set up a new Facebook in January with no information at all and a profile picture where he was very young.

By the way this was not some teenager. This was a middle-aged man.

I keep loving myself and helping my heart and soul to heal from the abuse.

The love of my life, which he was, or rather the dream of him, is dead. I am grieving like a normal person who has lost a loved one.

I am simply a strong woman, who will get over the abuse but it will take time to be completely free.

I have good friends who I can rely on if I need.

I am lucky to be independent and in fact I am getting my life back, slowly, one day at a time.

The whole thing was an illusion from day one!

I have not cried this month and that tells me I am on my way to complete recovery.

When I may look back at this time, some years from now, and even some months later, I will stop blaming myself for my stupidity.

Hulda Bjornsdottir

25th of June 2023

The last Sunday of the month is almost gone.

This month has been different from the last ones.

It has been a month of freedom

It has been a month of calm

The scammer is out of my life and I have my life back to normal and am truly happy about that.

It was a journey, a long one, took more than 2 years to finally understand that I had been manipulated, used and lied to month after month.

The pattern was there.

I got angry and blamed the abuser for using me and manipulating me and he managed again and again to convince me that that I was wrong and he was the man who loved me with all his heart.

I felt guilty for being so suspicious and I begged for forgiveness!

He forgave and the role coaster run again.

I cried, out of the blue I fell to pieces and cried and the guilt for being so unstable and mean was breaking me, piece by piece.

But,

Last month I had the courage to say this is enough.

The manipulator was not happy about me ending the relationship and tried what he had done many times before, just to pretend the next morning that everything was ok.

I knew the pattern and I was strong.

I refused to play anymore.

I deleted him as a friend on Facebook and changed the engaged into single.

In my mind he had died.

I got messages where he was angry and told me I really knew how to insult!

He took everything about me from his Facebook and blocked me!

I was relieved.

Then he called!

I did not reply!

Then he sent messages.

“Good morning, Hulda hope you slept well!

I miss you honey every day and it is killing me!” He also said.

Really!

This is the manipulators way to control.

I have thought a lot about the situation and tried to analyse why I did not leave months ago.

I don´t know why, perhaps I needed to figure out how horribly he had manipulated me and how he lied again and again to keep me on my toes waiting for the happy future.

I have not cried for a whole month!

I am at piece and claiming my life again.

I have gone through all our communication and a lot is clear now, which was not while I was under the spell.

He never loved me! He just used me!

He managed to convince me that the papers he needed to get the visa were expensive.

There were always, month after month more papers needed. He sent me pictures of them when he had gotten them.

Most likely everything is fake.

It does not matter anymore.

I am free and that is what matters.

Planning the future feels happy!

I am letting go of these years with the scammer and I am accepting that he never meant anything he said.

Last week I had a minor surgery and am recovering from that. Everything is fine.

I am really happy about my life now.

I have a plan for the next 12 months or so and that feels great.

I sacrificed my health for the scammer and will take time to regain control over that but one day at a time I will succeed.

I know he will have to pay for his doing, karma always gets you.

I don´t have to hate him. Hating is not good for me but I know that the man I fell in loved with was a scammer and that is still bothering me that I feel into the trap like a mouse after cheese.

Although, people like the scammer are genius manipulators and I am not the only one who has fallen for the innocent face and the dream they made.

What I know now is that I did not love the scammer, I loved the man I thought he was!

Hulda Bjornsdottir

23rd of June 2023

Yesterday was a good day.

I went in the morning to have the surgery and then home and ice on my face until I slept late in the evening.

The 2 doctors were perfect.

They did everything with extra care because of the situation of my bones in general.

Everything will be fine after few weeks.

I’m eating liquid food for 4 days and found a clever way. I just put everything in the blender, the soup I made and the turkey I have already cooked and everything is just a smooth liquid.

There is always a solution.

This morning the Syrian was complaining about me with Dahlia. I don´t understand why she is listening to him, there is going to be a meeting next Tuesday at the condominium. I don´t expect it to be because people are coming home from work and don´t go to meetings like this early in the evening.

That is fine. I am not going downstairs until I see that everyone is there.

If they are not then I leave.

I have decided to record the meeting.

I think the Syrian was threatening to take me to court because of something.

I am a very quiet neighbour and don´t bother them.

I pay my taxes here but they don´t: He doesn’t work anywhere so I and other taxpayers take care of him.

He must have money because he bought the apartment.

Very strange situation but what can I do?

I just continue with my life and leave idiots to their own idiocrasy.

Hulda Bjornsdottir

21 st of June 2023

I am truly angry today

Its not a good feeling but I am allowing me to be angry.

I could not sleep well and kept thinking about how I could have been so naïve for more than 2 years.

Why didn’t I rise up and leave long time ago?

Why did I continue to feel guilty when I looked at the picture and saw just a kind face?

Why did I not listen to my gut feeling?

Why am I not at piece already?

All those questions swam around my mind during the night.

Of course, I will be ok eventually and stop thinking about the slimy disgusting snake!

I just need time.

Now its one month since I finally told him to go away!

One month after 36 months of manipulation is not a long time and when I look at myself, I am proud of how strong I am.

Tomorrow is a surgery day and some days ahead where I can take care of myself and be kind to myself and nourish my body and my soul.

I am already prepared. I have taken the antibiotics but it is complicated what to eat during the first week.

I can´t just eat soupe in every meal!

I am going to the supermarket in the afternoon and figure it out.

I’ve got plenty of ice to put on and perhaps I will be freezing to death, but, there will be over 30 degrees during next days so maybe it will be ok!

It’s a really beautiful day even though its cloudy.

I love the grey clouds when the sun is trying to get through but doesn’t manage.

It did rain last night and the flowers downstairs are happy.

My new laptop is absolutely perfect.

My printer, 12 years old, died and now I have found another one that I will invest in after few days.

It feels good to be financially free and be able to do what I want to do without worrying about how to support a grown up man!

I often thought about how my situation would be if he came and was sick all the time, like he has been the years I have known.  He said, when I asked him, that everything would be different when he was here. He would not be sick, just working and paying back all the money I had given him!

Sure,

I was worried, and I contemplated on how to survive and if I was willing to spend the last 10 years or so, providing for a grown up man.

Luckily, he convinced me that everything was a scam, even though he didn’t believe I would see the truth.

I called him and his voice sounded sick. After a while, he forgot to use the sick voice. This happened again and again and since I am clever woman when I want to be, I figured out the scam.

It took too long!

The snake managed and manipulated me and I was feeling guilty being so mean to think he was not true.

The truth is that I paid him for loving me. Can you believe it? That is exactly what happened.

Smooth talk and manipulation is the common trend when the scammers are abusing their victims.

I love you is the trend and the end of every sentence!

295 times he used this during the first 3 months!

I am leaning to the conclusion that in fact he is a stupid but cunning man.

He thinks he has me and now I am just having one of the tantrums, and it lasts longer!

Great!

He will see where David bought the ale!

He made one really big mistake, among many others, and soon he will have to pay for his doing.

Carma always kicks in!

The anger I feel is normal and it will go away. I was mentally abused by a criminal.

Hulda Bjornsdottir

20th of June 2023

Today is a good day.

In my little village the clouds are shining before the extreme heat arrives closer to the weekend.

It will be very hot, 30 degrees and more. I’m not too happy about that but grateful for how late the heat arrives.

On Thursday I will be in bed most of the day and perhaps for some days. I have already made soup that I can drink cold. The first days are going to be cold soup and ice on my face!

I’m happy to be finally free from the slavery and manipulation of the scammer. I feel fine today and have accepted what I can´t change.

He is a stupid idiot who I felt sorry for and thought a real man!

He was never true, he was from day one just a pathetic scammer and a manipulator.

I am not angry with myself for falling for the scam.

It was just normal. I am a person with good heart and it is easy to deceive people like me.

In my heart I knew he was not worthy of my love but I gave it anyway.

I am free!

My life is back and now it is just building what was destroyed.

There are steps to be taken and they have to wait a bit.

Life goes on and everything will be fine.

Next year I will walk around the streets of London and enjoy the multicultural atmosphere.

Going to China town and having Chinese food will be the pure pleasure of the trip.

Saving for the trip every month makes it easy to travel and I don´t have to worry about a thing.

Life is truly good

I am grateful for my freedom, at last I had the courage to face the facts.

My life will never be the same but it will be even better and happier every day for the rest of my staying on this earth.

I am happy

Hulda Bjornsdottir

19^th of June 2023

Today I woke up rather disappointed.

I could not sleep well during the night and all kinds of thoughts were wandering through my mind, completely out of control.

This is normal.

I’m in the process of preparing for the surgery and I am working through the feelings of being scammed by a romantic scammer.

My pain threshold is low and I am dreading the days after the surgery.

I was also worried about how to manage after the other, bigger procedure when I get the help with my heart.

How am I going to manage for 4 weeks?

How am I going to manage to get the life running for the first 2 weeks when I am home and not allowed to do almost anything?

This is worrying beforehand!

I should just take one day at a time, and I know everything will be ok, I just have to organise and this time next year I will wonder why I was so afraid.

The scammer has broken me down and I am trying to rise up. Some days it is easy and some days it is complicated.

I am angry, angry because he treated me like a shit and angry with myself because I didn’t listen to my gut feeling.

I know all these feelings are normal, and should be allowed to surface. It is better to face them than just pushing them down and having them continue to affect my life.

Many victims and weaker than me and can’t survive. I am strong. Why am I writing about this? I can tell you that honestly. It would have been easier for me to just keep quiet and hide so no one would know how stupid I was. But, it is my duty to rise up and talk. My story may help someone either from landing in a situation like I did or help someone who is in the situation and does not know what to do.

Google, and gather information.

If you google you will find a lot about scammers. The romantic scammers are the most dangerous for your soul.

They manipulate you and abuse your heart and soul. They make you feel special and the smooth talk is there on top of everything.

You may talk to them on the phone and even on video and they will convince you that they are real.

They are, I think, rather stupid individuals, but they are cunning and have figured out how to manipulate.

The one that abused me showed his true side and his stupidity often, but I was blind and did not want to see what was in front of me.

If you are a victim, don´t feel ashamed. Feel angry.

You are not alone in the scammer’s situation.

The one who abused me has been working with other people. I can see that now, but I did not see it before. I did not want to believe my gutfeeling.

Just remember, there is a pattern. If it repeats, please leave. Believe your gut feeling.

Please stay safe if you are a victim and do everything in your power to get free from the criminal, because the romantic scammers are criminals who don´t spare any resource they have to get what they are after, the money!

If they promise you anything, it is all a lie.

If they try to convince you that your friends are wrong, when they tell you that this is not real love from the scammer, just listen to your friends, please.

Remember, the scammers, even the romantic scammers, work in groups. They unite against you to manipulate you and make you feel mean by doubting your lover!

Get help. Please!

Hulda Björnsdóttir

18th of June 2023

The scammers are not just criminals, they are murderers.

They kill the victims mentally and emotionally.

Some victims are strong and they survive the scumbags, but others don´t.

Think about those who lose their minds, their homes, their everything, and even loose the believe in human beings. There are those who have to be in a hospital to recover.

The victims loose money, and many of them borrow money for the scammers to help them.

I am clever, intelligent woman, but I fell for the smooth talk and refused to listen to my friends or my gut feeling.

I knew in my heart that the scammer was not a decent good man who cared about me and was going to spend the rest of his life with me.

My friend told me that he was going to use me to get to Schengen!

I didn’t listen!

I should have listened and I did for a while but I fell for the scammer again and allowed the innocent face and the nice voice to capture my heart.

I fell in love with a dream, not with the reality.

I knew this deep down, I rose up again and again, but he managed to get me back and making me feeling guilty of being so mean and believe what my friends were telling me!

He told me it was because of what my friends were saying, that I did not believe him!

In a way that was true, but the pattern of a scammer was there.

He had some friends of his talk to me and try to convince me that everything was okey and he truly loved me and was going to spend the rest of his life with me, I just needed to help him with some money so he could get the necessary papers to get the Visa.

I spoke to most of those friends of his on video calls. I spoke to one that said he was a barrister and that he would do everything in his power to help, he just needed to be paid for his service.

When I finished talking to the barrister and called my scammer, the barrister replied! He told me it was the internet that did this! And I believed, almost. I see now through the lies.

I suffered a lot.

I suffered guilt.

I suffered losing money!

I suffered losing my piece of mind!

I am a good person and I have been helping people throughout my life as well as I could.

I believe in the good in people.

I can not take back what the scammer took away from me but I can make the most of the lesson I learned.

I was the loving wife, making sure everything would go smoothly for him while he was adjusting to his new home.

I was preparing and doing it with love a passion.

He lied to me every day.

He used me every day.

I am the victim but it is not going to destroy me.

I will survive and manage to build up my confidence and trust in other people. I am lucky to be extremely strong person, who have gone through a lot and always survived and coming stronger after each tragedy.

It feels sad, hurting and angry, to have been stupid and believed the lies and the innocent looks.

I took the final step at the end of last month and cut me free from the abuse.

I am healing and every day is different from the last one. Sometimes I am completely content and some days I am angry or hurt and sometimes not seeing how I will be able to continue my life as it was before I came the victim.

All this is normal.

The criminal called me yesterday and I did not reply.

I have nothing to say to him.

He is out of my life and everything that reminds me of him is going away.

In a way some good will come out of this.

Some good people will use what was supposed to keep him warm and make his life easy here in the cold winter. I am happy about that.

I did really prepare, I did everything in my power to make this scam bag happy.

I cant change what was, it is gone, but I can have faith in what will be and that is my future, my freedom, my independence and my happiness is arriving.

Feeling grateful for my friend’s support is good.

Feeling optimistic is perfect.

I allow myself to fall down emotionally a bit but I rise up quickly.

The scammer is not worth my tears.

We think that the scammers are young, even young boys, but they are not. This one is almost 50 years old and I wonder what will happen to his next victim. I just hope she will be wise and not fall for the smooth talk and innocent face.

Hulda Bjornsdottir

17. of June 2023

It’s a Saturday, the end of the week.

The weather is sunshine and rather hot in my little land.

I am recovering quickly and wake up in the mornings content and happy most of the time.

The past is past and the future is on its way.

The coming week is going to be completely different from last one.

On Tuesday I go somewhere and on Thursday the surgery is in the morning.

I have to admit that I am little bit anxious but I know everything will be ok. Its just that some days I will be in pain taking antibiotics and painkillers and trying to freeze the pain out.

There will just be cold soup for at least 4 days!

I hope I will sleep through the pain as much as possible.

Anyway, I am recovering from the scammer but sometimes a bit of guilt appears and a thought if I am wrong and he is just a good loving man!

Seriously!

This is normal.

This is what the scammers accomplish, and this is why they can control even the most intelligent women who should see through the scam, but don´t completely, even though the signs are crystal clear.

I have been wondering if I should see a physiatrist and try to figure everything out!

I don´t think I need that.

I am calm and have not cried for more than 2 weeks. The feeling is mostly just relieved.

Life is coming back and I am doing what I always do, I take care of myself first and foremost.

One day in the future I might write about those 2 and half years and tell the whole story but now I think it is best just to relax and get my life on track.

The plan is to get the pacemaker as soon as possible but I may have to wait 2 or 3 months. I just pray it will not take too long. After that I will have to give myself time to recover and that might take about one month, or that is what I have been told.

I am preparing for this, making things easy for me and trying to be on my own feet as much as possible. I may have to ask for help the first 10 days or so but then I will be able to drive and my life will be normal quickly.

The quality of life will change for the better and I will be able to go again to the gym and my singing will be more powerful a lot to look forward to.

In February next year I am going to London for 8 days to renew my passport.

I have already booked the hotel and am going to stay where I have been many times before and almost like home being there.

I will be able to go to China town and have Chinese food every day for a week!  I am truly looking forward to that.

I have estimated how much the trip is going to cost and next month I will begin saving for it.

Before, when I was in the “relationship” all my plans were around helping him through the first months here in Portugal and my financial situation was dire.

Now I have got my life back and my freedom feels great and my soul is just happy to be just responsible for myself and my wellbeing.

I have given away what I bought for him, to take care of him the first months, until he got paired for his work and could take care of things himself!

I bought a car, which he was going to use for going to work because there was no way I would become a private driver!

I gave the car this month to someone that really needed it!

I have bought some clothes to keep him warm and they are going to someone that needs them!

It’s a good feeling that the disaster and the lies are turning into something good.

After next week there wont be anything here that reminds me of the scammer. I will be completely free.

Life is strange. I was lied to and manipulated and tried to rise up many times but always gave in!

Today is different.

My calm mind is reasonable and understanding.

Every day is a new day and every day I approach the new!

I don´t need a man to make my life fulfilled. My life is already where I want it to be. My little land and my friends here are all I need.

I am truly grateful to the universe for helping me through a tough time and I am truly grateful for my true friends who have stood by my side and supporting me.

Gratitude is good.

Hulda Bjornsdottir

16th of June 2023

Today is a happy day

The sun is shining in my little land and in my heart

Planning for next week and everything working out

The morning was immensely beautiful

I walked a bit before I met my doctor and breathing in the fresh morning air was wonderful

My friend Tânia made my hair look like new

I had a wonderful conversation with another great friend of mine

This evening I cooked a Peru in tomato sauce with feta cheese. It’s creamy and smooth. Organic vegetables and water.

A perfect meal

I am going to have a minor surgery on Thursday and will be restricted to cold soup for at least 4 days.

Tomorrow I’ll make tomato soup for the future!

Perfect day and I’m at piece and happy

Hulda Bjornsdottir

15. June 2023

Why did I not see the red flags?

Today is a hot day here in my little land and somehow not easy to survive.

It´s difficult when the heat goes up and even more complicated when the mind is not settled.

I have been thinking about why I did not act on the red flags that again and again appeared in front of me.

Why did I not see the scam in the beginning, but in truth what happened was I saw the flag but refused to believe my feeling.

Early on, the scammer told me that he was rich, he just needed to get the papers for a land he had inherited and then he could start digging and the gold was in the ground.

He even sent me a video where he was at a meeting and he held a piece of something, which was supposed to prove to me the gold was there but I knew the piece in his hand was not gold, just a green stone!

After the meeting with the people who had the papers, he went home without papers and one day he was attacked at his home and taken to the police station. The bad people had found out where he lived and came after him!

He had a friend of his ask me to friend on Facebook, which I did not immediately so they used the scammers Facebook to send me messages about the situation and ask me for help. They needed money, just a little, to help get him out of prison.

The friend told me he had taken a bike and was with the scammer! In the prison?  Of course, I did not believe this, but I still let me be manipulated.

The story was unbelievable and I heard the scammer whisper to his friend what to say!

What an idiot I was, there I knew exactly what was going on but I still let me be maniupulated into believing.

Before the meeting the scammer had gone to a bank and got a loan so he could buy machines to start digging. He had already marked his place on the land, or so he said!

I did not send money to free him for prion, not this time!

I struggled and accused him of being lying!

But he managed to get me back. I felt sorry for him, and there was this strange good connection between us!

I convinced myself that there were too many mean people believing that age and nationality were flags everyone should be on guard against!

We had a discussion about the matter many times and agreed on how ridicules it was. NOT EVERYONE WAS A SCAMMER!

I’m a good man he said. And I believed.

He was going to be rich and would buy houses all around the world when he had got the papers for the land and could start digging! He just needed some help to start. He had even gone to the place where he bought the machines for digging and asked for refund.

And I believed!

In the beginning he had said that it was a problem how old I was, but suddenly that was all forgotten. Now I was the love of his life and God had brought us together long before we were born! Seriously.

There was a story about him loosing his wife a year ago. She had died from a decease. I checked and this was true.

But,

He told me that a year before we met he had been with a woman in America and they had intended to get married and he had even sent her ring to US, a ring he had bought for his money!

Instead of she being the happy bride, he got a message from her husband and a video where they were making love, and the husband told him to go to hell.

This was supposed to have happened during the time when the scammer was with his wife and they making plans for the future, in fact if any of this was true, he was already cheating on his real wife!

I, the gullible idiot did not see through the lies and felt really sorry for my new friend!

When I look back there are millions of samples where I should have left immediately but I did not.

I can punish myself and kick myself and bee angry with myself for being such and idiot, but there is another choice, this happened, this is the past and sometimes all I can do is accept what was and let go of it and have faith in what the future will bring.

At the moment my responsibility is to take care of me. To work through the emotional turmoil and get my life back.

That will take some time, which is perfectly ok.

The money I have lost are just money.

The piece of mind I lost will come back.

This time next year I will be in a different situation, content with my life and happy every day.

Happiness is a choice.

Bad things happen and it is up to me to work through the feelings.

That is what I am doing. I have nothing to hide.

The truth has to come out, slowly step by step. One day the whole story will appear, but for now it is bits a pieces as I work through them.

Life is good.

I asked God to send me a sign I could understand, not many weeks ago, and immediately I got a phone call from the scammer where he told me how sick he was and how I was the only one to help him! I did not give in. I understood the message God had sent me. After a short while and some desperate crying I ended the relationship.

The scammer got angry, really angry, and blocked me on Facebook. That was his solution and showed me once and for all the true love he had for me. It was nothing, no love, just anger.

Hulda Bjornsdottir