12. january 2022
What is coming to you is even better than you expected.
This is a sentence I like
You are in a situation and nothing is moving, your patience is running out and you are looking for solutions.
You have been struggling, you have been expecting, you have been crying, you have been shouting, you have been happy, you have been sad, you have been optimistic, you have been pessimistic, you have been angry and you have been just human for weeks and months.
Many of us have been in this situation during the last 2 years while the virus has been spreading.
I am tired of it all.
I want change
I want my life back
I want normal
I want to be able to hug my friends
I want to be able to go out without masks
I just want normal and it is making me frustrated not getting it!
I wake up in the morning and tell myself that this is going to be a perfect day. Happiness is after all just a mindset and I am making a huge effort to put my mind into the right mood.
Sometimes I manage and sometimes I don´t.
December is the worst month of the year for me and has been for most of my life. Now December is gone and there is a new year with new adventures and new life for me and my people.
The year 2022 is going to be different.
I cried a lot during December but I have been calm during January and it is already almost half way moving towards February which is short and wonderful.
Crying is good. It is the angels cleaning the soul and afterwards you feel lighter and happier.
Feeling is also good.
Feeling is a process. Sometimes it is pleasant and sometimes it is really hard.
I don´t know why this December was so terribly difficult for me and I am optimistic that there was a lot of cleaning going on in my soul. My heart feels at least lighter and I am more optimistic than before.
I have learned a lot during 2021.
I have learned to be honest and daring to say how I really feel, instead of just leaving.
Trust is important for me and having people around me that I can trust with my innermost feelings, both happiness and sorrow is truly a blessing.
Gratitude is a good feeling.
When I feel grateful, I am in a good mood. When gratitude is on my plate, I can take anything and just process what is going on.
Patience is a feeling I have to use a lot during the last months and suddenly my patience is running out. I want things to move. I am powerless over other people’s situation but I can act on my behalf.
How do you act on patience? That’s a good question, I think. My way is to look at the options and see if there is any way for me to move things that are at standstill.
This Friday I will begin my singing lessons again; I will drive to Semide and see my teacher which I have not seen for almost 2 years. This is moving the standstill. At least one step. I have been practising hard this week and truly looking forward to the hard work ahead.
My teacher is not just my teacher, she is my dear friend as well. Friday will be pure joy and nothing can change that feeling.
Tomorrow I get my veggies, my organic ones, they arrive every week and are pure joy to use. They are grown with love and caring and they taste of happiness and joy.
My little land is cold these days and the sun is shining. The orchids are with bulbs and soon they will have all kinds of flowers. They are the best teacher for me in practising patience and experiencing something new. Every year I move them and forget what colour to expect or what kind of flowers they have. That is the excitement. I have been making black tea for them now and hoping they would hurry up but they just keep smiling with their leaves and tell me to be relaxed and patient. Everything happens at the right time, they say.
A new beginning in a new year is a food for the soul.
Patiently waiting for the future and enjoying the moment in happiness and joy is all I can do for now.