7th of October 2024
The SHIT almost destroyed me
The best therapy for me after a disaster is to write.
That’s what I do and have done my whole life.
Yesterday I was going through the beginning of the relationship with the SHIT, which I refuse to name, I won’t give him the dignity to say his name.
When I was looking through the 1st year of the communication, I got sad.
I felt so sad and sorry for the woman who went through the period where she gave all her love even though the gut feeling screamed GO AWAY, SAVE YOURSELF.
Its interesting to see how the manipulation worked. How the SHIT could get her back again and again, even though she saw clearly that something was really wrong.
From day one he was lying and manipulating.
January 2021 was the beginning and when I look at the next 2 years it is obvious that there was a pattern, a pattern I had read about and I should have been awake and not being manipulated.
Just a small example of the communication is here.
In the beginning we communicated on Facebook messages. I found WhatsApp easier and more convenient and he had been complaining about lacking money. There I was trying to make life easier for him and on 5th of February 2021, I asked him to go to WhatsApp
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“Let’s chat on WhatsApp! It’s a fast, simple and secure app we can use to message and call each other for free.
Ok honey better I never wanted to ask my wife
You know I use this iPhone so my WhatsApp is an American number it was bought for me by a friend”
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Seriously, what was bought for him by a friend?
Was it the phone or was it the app?
As far as I understand it must have been the phone that was bought in America, WhatsApp is free!
The number was American!
Of course this was a lie. Even if the phone had been bought in America WhatsApp could be downloaded anywhere in the world!
I should have understood that this was fishy, but I was somehow blinded by something I thought was true love and didn’t listen to my reasoning!
There are many stories about his phone. The most used to get more and more money. The phone was broken, the phone was taken by the police, the card was not working and he needed a new number, he was using his friend’s phone and on and on.
If only he could get a new iPhone, he would be able to take some pictures and send me.
The stories were endless.
The excuses were endless.
This is just a tiny example of how the manipulation worked on the gullible me!
A lot had been going on between us in January, the most interesting for me, when I look back is that the sickness, he telling me how sick he was, had begun quite soon.
That was the manipulation to make me feel sorry for him and wanting to give him money for the medicine and doctors!
During these years he was sick more or less every week.
If that had been true, he would be dead now, the stories were sad, him not being able to buy food, and being sick make me feel responsible!
I needed to save him from the hardship and the suffering, first by sending him money every month and then to help him get out of the misery and move abroad.
He was clever and figured out quickly that I had a kind heart and felt the pain he was going through.
Cleaning the clutter in my heart and my mind is a task I am taking and when finished I will be completely free.
My life today is different and it is coming back but there is still a lot of work to do and writing is my healing process.
Hulda Bjornsdottir
My thoughts shared with you 