Free from the manipulation!

25th of June 2023

The last Sunday of the month is almost gone.

This month has been different from the last ones.

It has been a month of freedom

It has been a month of calm

The scammer is out of my life and I have my life back to normal and am truly happy about that.

It was a journey, a long one, took more than 2 years to finally understand that I had been manipulated, used and lied to month after month.

The pattern was there.

I got angry and blamed the abuser for using me and manipulating me and he managed again and again to convince me that that I was wrong and he was the man who loved me with all his heart.

I felt guilty for being so suspicious and I begged for forgiveness!

He forgave and the role coaster run again.

I cried, out of the blue I fell to pieces and cried and the guilt for being so unstable and mean was breaking me, piece by piece.

But,

Last month I had the courage to say this is enough.

The manipulator was not happy about me ending the relationship and tried what he had done many times before, just to pretend the next morning that everything was ok.

I knew the pattern and I was strong.

I refused to play anymore.

I deleted him as a friend on Facebook and changed the engaged into single.

In my mind he had died.

I got messages where he was angry and told me I really knew how to insult!

He took everything about me from his Facebook and blocked me!

I was relieved.

Then he called!

I did not reply!

Then he sent messages.

“Good morning, Hulda hope you slept well!

I miss you honey every day and it is killing me!” He also said.

Really!

This is the manipulators way to control.

I have thought a lot about the situation and tried to analyse why I did not leave months ago.

I don´t know why, perhaps I needed to figure out how horribly he had manipulated me and how he lied again and again to keep me on my toes waiting for the happy future.

I have not cried for a whole month!

I am at piece and claiming my life again.

I have gone through all our communication and a lot is clear now, which was not while I was under the spell.

He never loved me! He just used me!

He managed to convince me that the papers he needed to get the visa were expensive.

There were always, month after month more papers needed. He sent me pictures of them when he had gotten them.

Most likely everything is fake.

It does not matter anymore.

I am free and that is what matters.

Planning the future feels happy!

I am letting go of these years with the scammer and I am accepting that he never meant anything he said.

Last week I had a minor surgery and am recovering from that. Everything is fine.

I am really happy about my life now.

I have a plan for the next 12 months or so and that feels great.

I sacrificed my health for the scammer and will take time to regain control over that but one day at a time I will succeed.

I know he will have to pay for his doing, karma always gets you.

I don´t have to hate him. Hating is not good for me but I know that the man I fell in loved with was a scammer and that is still bothering me that I feel into the trap like a mouse after cheese.

Although, people like the scammer are genius manipulators and I am not the only one who has fallen for the innocent face and the dream they made.

What I know now is that I did not love the scammer, I loved the man I thought he was!

Hulda Bjornsdottir