21 st of June 2023
I am truly angry today
Its not a good feeling but I am allowing me to be angry.
I could not sleep well and kept thinking about how I could have been so naïve for more than 2 years.
Why didn’t I rise up and leave long time ago?
Why did I continue to feel guilty when I looked at the picture and saw just a kind face?
Why did I not listen to my gut feeling?
Why am I not at piece already?
All those questions swam around my mind during the night.
Of course, I will be ok eventually and stop thinking about the slimy disgusting snake!
I just need time.
Now its one month since I finally told him to go away!
One month after 36 months of manipulation is not a long time and when I look at myself, I am proud of how strong I am.
Tomorrow is a surgery day and some days ahead where I can take care of myself and be kind to myself and nourish my body and my soul.
I am already prepared. I have taken the antibiotics but it is complicated what to eat during the first week.
I can´t just eat soupe in every meal!
I am going to the supermarket in the afternoon and figure it out.
I’ve got plenty of ice to put on and perhaps I will be freezing to death, but, there will be over 30 degrees during next days so maybe it will be ok!
It’s a really beautiful day even though its cloudy.
I love the grey clouds when the sun is trying to get through but doesn’t manage.
It did rain last night and the flowers downstairs are happy.
My new laptop is absolutely perfect.
My printer, 12 years old, died and now I have found another one that I will invest in after few days.
It feels good to be financially free and be able to do what I want to do without worrying about how to support a grown up man!
I often thought about how my situation would be if he came and was sick all the time, like he has been the years I have known. He said, when I asked him, that everything would be different when he was here. He would not be sick, just working and paying back all the money I had given him!
Sure,
I was worried, and I contemplated on how to survive and if I was willing to spend the last 10 years or so, providing for a grown up man.
Luckily, he convinced me that everything was a scam, even though he didn’t believe I would see the truth.
I called him and his voice sounded sick. After a while, he forgot to use the sick voice. This happened again and again and since I am clever woman when I want to be, I figured out the scam.
It took too long!
The snake managed and manipulated me and I was feeling guilty being so mean to think he was not true.
The truth is that I paid him for loving me. Can you believe it? That is exactly what happened.
Smooth talk and manipulation is the common trend when the scammers are abusing their victims.
I love you is the trend and the end of every sentence!
295 times he used this during the first 3 months!
I am leaning to the conclusion that in fact he is a stupid but cunning man.
He thinks he has me and now I am just having one of the tantrums, and it lasts longer!
Great!
He will see where David bought the ale!
He made one really big mistake, among many others, and soon he will have to pay for his doing.
Carma always kicks in!
The anger I feel is normal and it will go away. I was mentally abused by a criminal.
Hulda Bjornsdottir
My thoughts shared with you 