I am back!

17. of June 2023

It’s a Saturday, the end of the week.

The weather is sunshine and rather hot in my little land.

I am recovering quickly and wake up in the mornings content and happy most of the time.

The past is past and the future is on its way.

The coming week is going to be completely different from last one.

On Tuesday I go somewhere and on Thursday the surgery is in the morning.

I have to admit that I am little bit anxious but I know everything will be ok. Its just that some days I will be in pain taking antibiotics and painkillers and trying to freeze the pain out.

There will just be cold soup for at least 4 days!

I hope I will sleep through the pain as much as possible.

Anyway, I am recovering from the scammer but sometimes a bit of guilt appears and a thought if I am wrong and he is just a good loving man!

Seriously!

This is normal.

This is what the scammers accomplish, and this is why they can control even the most intelligent women who should see through the scam, but don´t completely, even though the signs are crystal clear.

I have been wondering if I should see a physiatrist and try to figure everything out!

I don´t think I need that.

I am calm and have not cried for more than 2 weeks. The feeling is mostly just relieved.

Life is coming back and I am doing what I always do, I take care of myself first and foremost.

One day in the future I might write about those 2 and half years and tell the whole story but now I think it is best just to relax and get my life on track.

The plan is to get the pacemaker as soon as possible but I may have to wait 2 or 3 months. I just pray it will not take too long. After that I will have to give myself time to recover and that might take about one month, or that is what I have been told.

I am preparing for this, making things easy for me and trying to be on my own feet as much as possible. I may have to ask for help the first 10 days or so but then I will be able to drive and my life will be normal quickly.

The quality of life will change for the better and I will be able to go again to the gym and my singing will be more powerful a lot to look forward to.

In February next year I am going to London for 8 days to renew my passport.

I have already booked the hotel and am going to stay where I have been many times before and almost like home being there.

I will be able to go to China town and have Chinese food every day for a week!  I am truly looking forward to that.

I have estimated how much the trip is going to cost and next month I will begin saving for it.

Before, when I was in the “relationship” all my plans were around helping him through the first months here in Portugal and my financial situation was dire.

Now I have got my life back and my freedom feels great and my soul is just happy to be just responsible for myself and my wellbeing.

I have given away what I bought for him, to take care of him the first months, until he got paired for his work and could take care of things himself!

I bought a car, which he was going to use for going to work because there was no way I would become a private driver!

I gave the car this month to someone that really needed it!

I have bought some clothes to keep him warm and they are going to someone that needs them!

It’s a good feeling that the disaster and the lies are turning into something good.

After next week there wont be anything here that reminds me of the scammer. I will be completely free.

Life is strange. I was lied to and manipulated and tried to rise up many times but always gave in!

Today is different.

My calm mind is reasonable and understanding.

Every day is a new day and every day I approach the new!

I don´t need a man to make my life fulfilled. My life is already where I want it to be. My little land and my friends here are all I need.

I am truly grateful to the universe for helping me through a tough time and I am truly grateful for my true friends who have stood by my side and supporting me.

Gratitude is good.

Hulda Bjornsdottir