8th of June 2023
A new day and a new beginning
There is something bothering me today and perhaps it will for some days but in general I feel much better than months before.
It is a national holiday in my little land today and people are not working in general.
The man downstairs, who does not live there, but comes once in a while, was playing music and really loud as usually when he is there.
I wonder where he gets his money. It looks like he is not working.
In May last year I bought a car for my future husband who did not arrive and this week I gave the car to a friend who really needed it. I had thought of selling the car but changed my mind.
My future dream died and no husband is going to arrive, even though promised.
Falling in love and being in a relationship for 2 and a half year does leave steps.
I will recover but it is hard to admit what an idiot I have been.
Although it is at least great that I saw the light eventually.
In my mind the man died.
In reality he is just a scam.
The past is past and now I am looking for the future and accepting the reality. It hurts but not as much today as some days ago.
I have my life back, my independence and freedom.
Feeling free and able to do whatever comes to my mind is good.
This was just an adventure that did not end like I thought it would but everything will be normal soon.
Tomorrow I se me dentist and he will tell me when he intends to put in the implant. I hope soon. On Tuesday I go to the hospital to meet up with my heart doctor and I am going to ask him to apply for a pacemaker for me.
I can not wait longer to make the pacemaker part of my life and hopefully I will get a better quality of life in the future. I have been refusing to get it but now is the right time.
Dr. Pedro told me last time I saw him that my quality of life would be completely different if I just accepted the situation and let them put the thing into my heart!
I have to take down some pictures of the scammer but I am not quite ready yet to let them disappear but soon everything will be clean. I am thinking about what to put in the frames and until I figure that out the face will be there.
I know that when one doors closes another always opens and that will be much brighter future and happier.
As I have said so many times here, Happiness comes from inside our minds. My mind is on the way to feel the happiness in my heart 24 hours a day for a very long time.
Everything will be fine.
I trust in the universe to take me to a place where there is piece and quiet in my mind.
Neglecting myself and sacrificing my life in a way has ben the past months but now I am the priority and my responsibility is to take the best care of my body and soul.
May love and light embrace me and you who reads this.
Hulda Björnsdóttir
My thoughts shared with you 